#409 Jacob Donahue & Trip Ison: Building a Life You Don’t Want to Escape From

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[00:00:00] Alright, fellas, we got trip, we got Jacob. Hey, two men I deeply respect who are just literally just throwing themselves into everything that they do. Uh, you guys have been, just become good. Just great friends. Jacob. We've known each other since college. You've been on the podcast before trip. We were saying before, we gotta give Brett a little crap, but we haven't done a podcast with you.

This is like a slow drip to a character release in the, in the whole Meet Mafia Noble. Group because you'll probably be on a hundred times by the time we finish doing the podcast. But Love You both ain't dead. Yes, PO ain't dead yet. Podcast host. Mm-hmm. And we have Muse Performance. No, no, no Legend. No. No.

Um, just a gym guy. Just gym Guy with Muse. Well, it's an honor to have you both on and I appreciate you guys coming on such last minute. Literally just texted you guys this morning and I think this is gonna be one of the best podcasts ever. So Love you both. Thanks for having us, Harry. Thank you for having us, [00:01:00] man.

Um, all right. I wanna get started. Congrats also to you. Big few months coming up, dude, coming up big. So you just kind of, I like, I feel like the more responsibility I take on, I think you guys will resonate with this, the more responsibility I take on, the more it just forces you to be the guy that you've always envisioned yourself being.

And so, yeah, it's just, I, I love that feeling of taking on. More responsibility. 'cause I feel like God has equipped me to handle that. Mm-hmm. And you guys are the same way. Crazy concept to think about, right? You've been building for years, right? Yeah. Setting these blocks, right? Yeah. What if you've been building those blocks to block out people that aren't supposed to be there anymore so you can focus on what's important?

It's a what if it's a, that's a learned skill. Dude, I, I feel like it's wild. How do you guys wrestle with that? You gotta repeat that. It was a little deep for me. Dude. I've been too deep, too quick. I'm telling you. Hold on. You're already on the energy drink. Should I crack mine? Yeah. I was almost, I'm almost done with, I haven't cracked it yet, so I've, I've been trying to, uh, cycle [00:02:00] caffeine.

Mm. Not to get into this shit already, but break, break into, I've been cycling some shit. Oh, legit. Actually, just really trying not to drink caffeine until I go to the gym. Like actually feeling the benefits of it. Ooh. But I'll leave it at that. So I'm gonna try to hold off a little bit longer. Wait, wait for it.

When you need that mid pod on, on the concept of gifts, do you feel that you've, in order to receive the next gift you've had to, uh, steward the first one or the first few correctly? I think so. And have you ever felt where you've been in a po along those lines? Because I'm sure you're gonna say yes. Did you feel like you were stunted in your growth or in your development or your loss in your life journey until you stewarded what you were supposed to be stewarding and then move on and get something the next challenge?

Yeah, I, I think a hundred percent. I feel like I've, I've seen this more recently as I've been more intentional about looking backwards and kind of trying to pull some younger guys along who are in situations that I was in 2, 3, 4 or five years ago, or just people who. You know, [00:03:00] they might be older than me, but they're like looking for that guidance and I, I feel like it's so true that you're not gonna get to the, the great gifts that are further down the road until you just take care of what you already have.

And that, that's been a huge case for me 'cause I've, I've stumbled over the little things and forgotten to take care of the little things and, and I just always stay on level one when I do that. So I think that there's a lot of power in what you said, for sure. What do you think trip? It's a tough question.

I'm still stuck on talking about building blocks to block people out, but here's what I'll say about receiving gifts. Um, you're pissed 'cause we skipped right over that. I forgot, forgot just disrespected this. I forgot to fuck outta me, dude. Forgot. Let's put a pin in it. We'll put a pin in it. We'll come back to it next week.

Come back, hold on. Yeah, we'll come back to it on season two. You know, it was some good shit I had, I had bowling then go for it then go for it. It's not what I meant by that. I just forgot. So now we're talking about gifts. Um, here's what I believe deeply. [00:04:00] Oh, come on. Trip. What you said is couldn't be more accurate.

You cannot receive the next gift until like whatever you believe in. Again, you guys know me well enough to know, and you know, I'm gonna say this shit on this show. I don't care if you believe in God, the universe, whatever, like whatever your thing is, great For me, it's God. I don't think God presents you the next gift until you've shown him on a repeated basis that you can steward what he's already gifted you.

I've seen that in my sobriety journey so many times. I've seen it so many times and there's, and people like they, they go back and forth on this like. Does God test us? Does the devil test us? I, I mean, personally, I believe they both do, um, for different reasons, but I think all those tests are just a setup to receive the next gift.

And if you're in the right mind frame and you can see that that's what, what's happening, I think you can move through these seasons of life a lot quicker. I've also gotten stuck in some crazy seasons of life because [00:05:00] I've convinced myself that I was. I was receiving a gift from the wrong team, if that makes sense.

Mm. The test was from the wrong side, so for me it's about being in a good mental head space and for, unfortunately for me that that means a lot of isolation where I can have quiet and write things down and, and decipher whether or not, um. This test or this opportunity, whatever you wanna call it, is from God or from the devil and how I need to appropriately like move through it or navigate it.

So yeah, I think that you have to, you have to steward your gifts appropriately in order to receive the next round. What are you stewarding now? Right now, selfishly, myself, man, learning how to love myself. Um, I think that. We can, we can dive off into that later, but like more later. But in my journey of, so pre sobriety, pretty, pretty selfish in a [00:06:00] lot of ways.

Hmm. But I was also really selfless in a lot of ways. Like I, I still took care of people. I was still a good hearted person. I still cared, like, but when I was using or drinking, I was really selfish. Fast forward into sobriety. It's all about service. It gets pretty much pounded into you. It's like, you know, be of service, help others sacrifice, you know, all these different things and, and it becomes your life.

And what happens is you find yourself in certain situations that shouldn't necessarily be service, right? Like your closest personal relationships shouldn't be a life of service, right to that person. Or to that entity? Is it, do you have an example of that? Um, yeah, so like in a romantic relationship. Okay.

Right. Of any sort. Mm-hmm. If you, if you get caught in a place where you're, you're trying to be of service to this person, one, they can [00:07:00] find that disrespectful, right? Because then they think like, well, what, like, do you think I'm broken? Like, do you, you know, that sort of thing. I think that can get tricky, but more so like, I would say the biggest one's with family, like learning to show up appropriately with my family.

Mm. I've struggled with that deeply and I think that, um, learning to love myself has meant learning to put up certain boundaries and, you know, not feeling pressured to call four people in my family every single day and give 'em a full life update. Hmm. Um. That's what self-love is looking like for me. Hmm.

And I mentioned the romantic piece and the only reason I brought that up is because like, and this is for young men, like it's so easy, I think to lose yourself in a relationship and learning to like maintain yourself in a relationship is so critically important. Not just for yourself, but for your partner.

Yeah. And I think that's kind of what happened in my most recent situation. I lost myself, therefore I lost the, [00:08:00] the relationship, you know what I mean? Are you saying, when you say service, are you saying like, don't idolize the person? 'cause ser I think serving in like a vacuum, like in the re relationship is valuable.

Mm-hmm. But idolizing the person is kind of where you. Start to blur the lines of like what's healthy and what's not. Yep. You're not God. They're not God. Yeah. Right, right. I think that's what you're alluding to. Yeah. And I think that, that, that is a piece that I've, I've fallen short in mm-hmm. Right. In the past and learning that, like, like you guys see the content and kind of where I'm at now and how I'm moving.

Mm-hmm. And if you didn't know me, you'd be like, bulldog. Yeah. They'd be like, he's, he's a really selfish human. It might come off as really selfish, but it's. It's coming from a selfless place. Mm. I'm just trying to help people the way that I know how now without a filter. Mm. Whereas it's been filtered for so long because I was like, I don't wanna push the wrong people, the wrong buttons, but everybody that comes to me [00:09:00] and wants help, it's because of the side that you're seeing.

Yeah. It's not this side that's like rainbows and butterflies and like, let me hug you to the top. Um, and so I'm trying to lean more into that, but I don't even know if you asked anything pertaining to that as nut's, whack in my brain, dude. Alright. Speaking of dating advice, my younger brother texted me after he saw my Instagram story about questions to ask and he wanted to talk about just advice for people in their t guys in their twenties on dating.

Uh, two, two eligible bachelors here. For any ladies who are listening to any, yeah, so you're probably not the, you probably should probably ask you 'cause you're getting married. Yeah. Fuck. We're well, we're over here talking about like, like, can you teach me toes? The bar. As soon as we walk outta here and shit, give, give us some lessons learned.

Alright, here's what I'll say. If you're in your twenties, this is what I believe. If you're a 20, if you're, if you're a male in your twenties,

don't date. That's my belief. That's a hundred percent my belief. Build your, build your, it's fine. Build [00:10:00] yourself. Yeah. Focus on yourself. Mission, chase God with everything you have. Find out what your purpose is. Pursue that like, like your hair's on fire. Lift a lot of weights, eat a lot of steak. Meet a lot of good people.

Build community. You'll find your partner in that vein. Hmm. Stop trying to go look for 'em. Totally. That's my advice to them. The, in your twenties, you don't even know what the fuck you're looking for, man. Yeah. Because you don't know your purpose. You're not chasing God, you're not doing any of this shit. So my advice is like, set all that down.

I think if you put yourself in the right places and you're doing all the right things, you're naturally gonna mesh with with your person. Mm. Think about the greatest relationships, you know, where did they meet? There's like a handful of places there's at their spots that they would church frequently go to.

Yeah, right. The gym, uh, you know, maybe, uh, lady Bird, right? Jacob? Yeah. Probably not squash. Um, [00:11:00] just saying like, my point is like, it just depends on what, what you're into and what you're pursuing. And my advice is like, find the best things you can pursue. Go pursue those things and then find your person.

But don't, again, don't idolize dating in your twenties. Especially for men. Women are different. You guys have the biological clock. I'm not gonna speak on it, but it's very real shit. But men, I'm serious though. It's different for dudes. I love it, dude. So if in your thirties like sure go after it, but like in your twenties, dude, no.

Set that shit down. Jacob, anything else to add? No, I think trip covered quite a bit there. Definitely the best relationships I've had in my life, I've found in the same environments that I like being in, if that makes sense. When I first moved down to Austin, I thought it was necessary, and I'm sure this applies to most cities, I.

I thought it was necessary that I need to go out on a Saturday night to like meet people. And it's not, [00:12:00] it's like you can stick to your routine and you can build yourself and you can find the right people, um, in those circles that like align with whatever you're building. I'm not on those. I'm not what dude?

I'm gonna do a chew, right. I'm gonna watermelon. I got some grizzly. You want that pouches? No. Come on dude. Anyways, back to your thirties. Well, in my thirties. All right, so I'm 31. I'm in a, I'm in a very selfish place right now, so I don't really have any dating tips for a guy in their, a guy in his thirties because I don't really go on too many dates.

I'm just doing me, uh, relentlessly. I mean, you see me here, I go to the gym, but I will go on a date. I mean, I mean, I have a date tonight, I guess you, yeah. So. Again, we're gonna have to have you on next week to see how it goes. Again, met the person in like, fitness community Nice. Right in the fitness circle, which is exactly what I'm doing.

So it just, it, it, it, it's your friends too. You're not gonna hang out with a dude [00:13:00] that's I know. On Rainy street tonight. Are you? No, totally not. You're asking me to do toes to bar Right. Right after this. So I think the same can go for women. Yeah. And it applies just as easily to your friends. Yeah. It's interesting how there's kind of this inverse relationship with it, where it's like you're talking about focus on your purpose, focus on your mission, and like inherently there's, there's some level of that that's self-serving, but if it's done in the right vein, it's serving other people in, in the process.

And like once you've kind of started down that path and started building down that path and have your eyes on what you want to, then it's like, all right, there's probably space for it. Mm. But you do have to kind of, I think there's a, a. Incredible book, um, man by John Eldridge. Um, not Beautiful Outlaw, I'm blank, wild at Heart.

And he talks about, you know, man's three things that he needs and two of them are woman and a purpose. Yeah. It's like you, you [00:14:00] want the woman that's in your lane. Yeah. Right. If you're in the right lane, like not right left lane, but like the correct lane. You want the woman who's in that lane though, that can respect what you're building and what you're doing.

And if she doesn't understand that you pursuing your business, your fitness, your spiritual side, your faith, um, your family, if, if those things aren't absolutely critical to her, if don't want her anyway, right? So if you're, if you're pursuing the right things, you want the woman who's gonna respect those things.

Like, it's very difficult too in today's day and age, because you'll meet people that. They think they want those things and then they see what those things actually look like, right. I've, I've, I've came across that a couple different times where it's like, oh, you're really that way all day. And I'm like, yeah, this isn't fucking 75 hard.

You know, this is life. This is 24 7. Hard, no offense to, no offense to the first form. I love Andy Ello. [00:15:00] You're the fucking man. But like, and I think, I think that's great for helping people jumpstart shit, but I don't live that way. I have a 90 day counter on my shit right now. Somebody asked me today, I was like, what's whatcha gonna do at day 90?

And I was like, fucking 91. Yeah. Like, that's it. Yeah. So, oh yeah, I got a question about that right after this. But like, jokes aside, um, be yourself 100%. 100% all the time. I've, I haven't always done that. Mm-hmm. I'm at heart, kind of a dickhead. I'm also kind of like. Silly Silly's a gay word. I'm, I'm silly Max.

So fucking You are silly. Jacob's super silly. Like, I'm goofy dude. Like, I'm goofy. I'm kind of like quirky. Mm-hmm. Right. But I, it, I've noticed that's what my, like I went home over, uh, um, this past week to see my friends back home and it's like, that's what they like appreciate about me. Right. So it's like, yeah.

[00:16:00] When I have, when I have dated, I think that's also what recently people appreciate, appreciate about me. It's like I'm, I, I, I'm very true to myself. Mm-hmm. Right? And that it can go a long way in, in relationship building, I think. And previously I felt like I was hiding things. I was trying to like put on maybe a little bit of a face.

It's like, no, this, this is me. Yeah. Definitely feels good to be yourself. And I feel like going back to the, it's hard to be, you're, you're working on, it's hard to be like loving yourself. Yeah. Which is, as guys, I feel like. It's kind of sometimes the last thing, I was talking to a mentor of mine recently.

He's like, dude, there are some days where I feel like I'm just like, give, give, give, give, give. Like giving everything to other people and then you just like. You kind of look around and you're like a skeleton. Do you need more? Yeah. You're so silly. You're wracking another one of those. I'm just messing me.

You are another. Yeah. I mean, I would love one God dude. Thirsty. Dude. I'm taking how, uh, there's not even caffeine in these. I just read No, no one, there's, there's one 20 milligrams. Exactly. And there's nothing natural. This one. [00:17:00] Oh, that's perfect. Thank you. This could be a, what? What's this called? Nutt Tonic.

This could be a nut tonic commercial. Shout out to the Nutt tonic. Yeah. Wow. Just give a little crack. Alright. Here we, sorry. Hey, listeners, you're gonna have to bear with this a little bit. We got a lot of, this is a cheers. Exceptional room. Hold on. Look crack. Yeah, they're not watching, they don't know what's going on.

The people wanna know what, what does the day 90 represent? Specifically, Angie wants to know what does Angie and Carlisle. Girl science. What does day 90 specifically represen? Every day you post, but like every day you post day 90, day 42. I feel like they don't always go in order. No, they always go in order.

Okay. So what's today day? What? Today's 54? Are you sure? I thought I saw a 90 today. It is 54 of 90. So like 90 is the, okay, okay. No, I know what you're saying. 90 is my 35th birthday. Okay. Dang. Yeah. And so I made a decision 90 days, not 90, 54 days ago. [00:18:00] Now you got me all fucked up 54 days ago where I was just like, look bro, I wanna be my best version of myself that I've ever been on my 35th birthday.

Oh yeah, okay. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna break myself off to get there. But then I fell in love with this new routine. The problem. You're in full monster mode. You both are. Give us the daily routine. Did you want it Not super. Not super in depth? Give us like, if you were to do a 32nd Instagram reel, why don't we do it right now?

I wanna know. I wanna know both of your guys. What's the daily? This is a crazy this. This is a crazy piece of content. You ready? We're live. We're live with Harry. 30 seconds. 30 seconds. Give us a daily routine. Wake up before five. I have coffee. Two scoops of noble. Overnight Oats provided by Simply Plan Austin.

Shout out Matt Lupe. It's a great meal prep, great meal prep surface. I leave there, don't tell me to speed up, dude. 30 seconds is fucking crazy. Um, I go lift morning session. I come back, I eat lunch, I work handle my [00:19:00] business. I go lift again in the afternoon, usually some cardio. I come home, I eat, spend time with my dog.

I go the fuck to sleep. That's the 32nd clip done. Good. Pretty, pretty, pretty accurate. Is that your perfect day? Realistically, like if that's the 32nd version, if you guys gimme both your guys generally, you probably do 95% of that every single day. Yeah. Without question. Okay. Perfect day. Go. What's your perfect day, bro?

We're about, we're still on you. How are you? Is gonna fall off there. No problem. Um, perfect day for me, man. I would say it starts with, with how I wake up, I'm very particular about how I wake up. Uh, good example, last night there was a tornado that rolled through, uh, probably, I don't know, 20 miles north of me.

And it was loud thunder, lightning T is my dogs freaking out. So like 2:00 AM were up one 30, something like that. And I was up with him for an hour and a half. Mm-hmm. Just making sure he was good knowing. [00:20:00] That I gotta wake up in a couple hours and that's probably not gonna be the best feeling. So I think preparing for it.

Um, but when I wake up, it's so important to me that like, I take probably three to five minutes. I don't touch anything. I don't do anything. I just, I like, I literally force myself to be still and talk to myself about what kind of day I'm gonna have that's so important to me. I feel like if I just hear an alarm and I get up and I rush and I do, I don't take that moment to really set myself up for the day.

My day goes sideways quick. Um, so that's important. Time with my dog in the morning is important before any of the work stuff starts happening. I have the podcast, obviously, and then we have the construction business, which is a totally different vein and, and need and, um, draw of my time. But I've, I've figured out how to time block things at this point in my life where.

We were talking about being selfish, like I won't answer certain calls during certain times of the day. Like, I just refuse to, my phone [00:21:00] stays on do not disturb 95% of the time. I learned that from your co-host, which it pisses me off, but like, dude, it, it's, it, it actually works because there are a lot of people that like, no offense, if you're listening to this and you're one of those people that I screen the shit outta your calls.

Like, I'm sorry, but like I'm not, you know what I mean? I got shit to do. Yeah. And I don't want your input on my day. So the, the quieter my day is the better. I'll put it that way. There's only certain people that I wanna let into that space, and it's people that I know are pushing themselves or driving themselves to a better tomorrow, like chasing this, this, this term of betterment.

Like shout out to Chad Sandri again. Um, use so to speak. Yeah. But I can talk to you. I can talk to you. I can talk to Brett. I don't want to hear somebody bitch though. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I just don't. I got plenty of bitching to do. So it's all about head space for me. Working out in the morning is important to me.

Yeah, I like, I, I'm in this like [00:22:00] new space of where I can lift, I can prioritize lifting. I ran 60 to 70 miles for three years straight a week, like 10 miles a day, eight miles a day, just over on repeat. And like, I'm outta that wheelhouse now. I like being able to lift weights. I've really like fallen in love with that again.

And, and that feels good to me. Um, but. Really, it's at my perfect day.

Again, it's every day when I go to sleep figuring out like, have, have I learned to learn like love myself more today? Hmm. And that's been hard. Love yourself more today. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. And finding ways to do that. And people will say like the cliche shit, like, do what the little 5-year-old inside of you wants to do.

Like the, well the 5-year-old inside of me wants to go back and like hug his dad, right? Mm-hmm. I can't do that shit. So like. We do something different. You know what I mean? That advice doesn't work for everyone. Most bar to the bar. What does that, what does love yourself actually look like? [00:23:00] I think for me it's learn.

It's, it's, it's, it's learning that if I'm being the best man I can be. No one else's opinion of me fucking matters. That's what loving myself looks like, because I've spent the majority of my life people pleasing. Trying to fit into different crowds, not being myself like, uh uh, I don't like, especially living in Austin, it's tough.

You go to these events and you're like, I went to, I've been to these, like influencer events and shit, and I'm like, it's not me, dude. I want to like, sit with the boys, talk shit, lift weights, eat steak, go home, hang out with my chocolate lab. I'm a simple fucking guy. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. So loving, like doing the things I I, that are important to me is loving myself, but, but really at the end of the day, I think that.

It's learning that if you're really, really, really doing your best, then fuck what anyone else has to say because we're all flawed. If I [00:24:00] spend any of my time worried about like how Jacob's failing I, I'm, I'm not bettering myself, right? And so you have to think about it that way when people are judging you or, or they have negative opinions, like they're not chasing betterment.

They got too much time on their hands, so you can't take those words and, and let them eat you up. It's like this old adage. I think it's probably Jamaican, dude. I had this Jamaican guy that worked for me all these years. It's probably not Jamaican, but he used to say this shit all the time. He'd be like, in the boat, man.

He's like, you let the water in the boat. He's like, the boat sinks. He's like, but the water stays outside the boat. The boat floats. Mm-hmm. Keep all that shit outside, man. That's a, that's a great adage. He said it a lot cooler. Very simple. Shout out to Jamaica. Yeah, Jacob. Perfect day. Oh gosh. What I'm doing right now.

Truthfully, it really does seem like you, you. Literally just hit the repeat button, rinse, repeat, and it is like your form of perfect day. Yeah. I'd say I, I wouldn't say I've en, I have envisioned this day all my life, but I've, I've just worked hard over the past few years. [00:25:00] I've had some good breaks and I've am at a point in my life where I, I just have the freedom to pursue what I wanna do every day, right?

Like the freedom at work, the freedom physically, the freedom across the board. So love that. I wouldn't change anything right now. Can I say something to him real quick? Yeah. Rip it. And I'm pretty sure I've said this before on, on The Ain't Dead Idea podcast, but there are very few men that I look up to.

Very fucking few, like few and far. He's one of them like, like his name gets brought up in any circle. I'm like, he dog. Thanks dude. Dude, you're one of the baddest motherfuckers I've, I've ever came across in my entire life. Thanks man. And, and you inspire me. I don't wanna fucking push every day. Yeah. But I'm like, well this fucking asshole's pushing somewhere, so like let me get to it.

That's from a place of love dude. And I don't give people those flowers like, fuck them. But you deserve 'em, man. Yeah. Thanks. Appreciate very much. Appreciate that. Yeah. Alright fellas, I wrote [00:26:00] some questions down beforehand just. I don't usually do note card questions, but I figured we could do a little rapid fire or it look so little on your hands, or we can, we can click into these if we, if we need to.

Um, all right. Are there five by eight? We're studying, we're studying for an exam here. Is there a moment in your life that you think changed how you decided to live? I, I've been asked this before. I haven't thought of anything. I haven't noticed anything recent or haven't. Thought of anything in my life thus far that's changed my trajectory or, or, or thinking or view?

No. Mm-hmm.

Man, you've got one. I've got plenty. Um, but I think, I mean, my whole life has comprised of moments, right? Mm-hmm. Where there's been a change in trajectory. Like, and I'm not saying like. 90 or [00:27:00] 70 degree changes, but like maybe a degree here, a degree there. And I think all of those together kind of create the trajectory that you're on now, whatever that is.

Mm-hmm. Um, some of them have been harder hitting, I guess you could say, where they like flip you in a completely different direction, but most of them are small. And, um, truth be told, most of my change in life has come from pain. So like, those, like painful moments have shifted me and my perspective much more than happiness and success.

Um, and so I would say like, people talk about chasing failure all the time. I, I really don't think most people know what the fuck that means, but find places to fail and fall short and find pain and your trajectory will it, it has to improve. Mm-hmm. I love it. All right. You've got the Ain't Dead yet podcast.

You've got Muse. Who are the archetypes of people that you guys are trying to speak to with your guys' core message[00:28:00]

dudes who are out there? No, it doesn't matter how old you are, dudes who are out there that feel like they have in incredible unlocked potential. Mm-hmm. They have so much passion, vigor for life and what they're doing, but what they're doing right now isn't getting them what they think it should be getting or what they deserve, and learning to be okay with that and then find out what you're supposed to be doing.

Got a follow up question, but I'm a little trip. Trip getting here. Trip. I think for me it's the same as what it started as is. I wanna find the people that are afraid a ask for help, um, that are afraid of their own truth, and give them a safe place to know that you can, like, I think part of the [00:29:00] reason I push so hard on like the masculine side or try to be like tough is because I wanna show people you can come from this like incredibly vulnerable, weak place and build to this.

And so most of the people I'm trying to get to are in a pretty vulnerable spot. Um, and I wanna show them that, like, you can get out of that. Um, so like, I don't, I don't pursue a lot of the hard asses, you know what I mean? Like, they're good. Yeah. I want the guy who's on his last string and it's, it's tearing.

I want 'em to come fucking move into my house. Mm. And I wanna put 'em on a program like, that's what the fuck I want. Like that, that's the shit that fires me up. So. I don't, that's a good business idea, man. Really good. I mean, dude, I, I'd hate to tell you how many people I've moved into my house, but like, it's like, no, but if that is what it is, they they do, they have, they're called Circle Living, but like rehab, but like Yeah, but it's like your own style.

It is. They'll whip you in a shit. It is, man. But it, it's really about finding the person who you're gonna lift a X in July. [00:30:00] Yeah. This year. Yeah. I bet not. Yeah. But I just wanna find the people that like. Really don't know if they're gonna make it through today. And I want to go, like, grab them, like, you know, they see like a mom dog, like grab their fucking puppy by the back of the neck.

I wanna grab 'em by the back of their neck and just fucking pull 'em outta that. Mm. That's what I want. That's my target audience. All right. What message do you guys have for each of those archetypes? The, the people that you just described? You go, you're fresh, you ain't dead yet. This use, it's perfect.

That's that, that's perfectly branded. That's literally perfectly branded. And I do, I wanna add to, you know, people listening to this, I, I, I would love for you guys to go down rabbit holes on both these guys. 'cause I, I admire 'em both so much. But just the amount that you guys, the amount of energy that you guys have already put into what you're building and how much great things that are gonna come from it.

The amount of people that you guys are gonna change. I, I [00:31:00] look at you guys. I'm like, and I feel like similarly like this about kind of stuff that we're doing. Like we're an inning one. Mm. Or maybe even just stretching. Like I think the impact that you two are gonna have is gonna be incredible. You're at trim still.

Yeah. Yeah. Little still up at trim. Literally a nice little trend. Pregame meal. Pregame meal. Shout out Babson College. Yeah. All right. Speaking of admiration, what's a trait that you guys admire in, uh, people that you look up to? Consistency. Mm.

I'm simple man, too. Like I retwe. Yeah. Like so hard, man. It's hard. It's fucking hard. It's, it's so easy to, it's so easy to show up a couple times. Mm-hmm. It's easy to show up sporadically. But I, I think the consistency piece is, is what's missing in most of society today. And if I can find those people that are [00:32:00] consistent, that's who I wanna be around.

I don't think there's any greater, um, attribute to someone because what it really speaks to is much deeper than just like, I'm consistent. I show up to the gym. It's, you're gonna show up as a friend, you're gonna show up as a father, you're gonna show up as a husband, you're gonna show up as, as a leader in your community.

You're gonna show up as all these things that are important. Mm-hmm. And I think that that's what consistency really like represents for me. Um, and the greatest letdowns in life are when you believe in others' consistency and they're not, you know what I mean? That hurts that, that has hurt me more than anything in my life.

Right? When I look at even childhood stuff, it's like wanting someone to be consistent and them not able to do it, or in other familial relationships or partnerships or romantic relationships like wanting that consistency. I. Then it not being there. So I think, I don't, I don't think there's any better attribute.

Dude, you hit it. Scott and I, Scott Hatch, who you both know, we recorded a pod like two or three weeks ago and we both, [00:33:00] our eyes like lit up. 'cause we were talking about commit, just being committed to something and how few people are actually committed to something. I feel like that just like ties to it perfectly into the consistency conversation where it's like.

You know, when you're talking to a guy who's committed, he's gonna say no to the things that he shouldn't be saying yes to. Mm-hmm. And he's gonna be doubling down on all the things that are fueling that commitment. And there's something powerful about just like knowing kind of black or white, like where someone stands on things.

The pain of saying no is, is, is much greater than the pain of whatever you're gonna put yourself through on the way to your goal. Saying no is fucking hard. And I think that's where a lot of people get lost. Hmm. That shit is hard. Like being like, oh, you wanna go get ice cream after this? Like, yeah, but fuck no.

You know what I mean? Like, you understand what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. That workout, like saying no is hard for me. It's something I've had to beat into my system. Um, and so I think that that's, that's really what the commitment piece is. And, and I want people around me that will die for [00:34:00] what they believe in.

Like, like literally stand on it. Like I, and if you've never had that conversation in the mirror, then like, we don't, we don't, we don't. Bob check man. So. I love it. You know what, I'll stand for? What? A gym es little gym ses in 20, 25 minutes. All right. Angie's gonna put you through it. Is she here today? Yeah.

Holy shit dude. I called her about Toes the bar by, did she tell you? No, she didn't. Uh, I called her like middle of the day yesterday. I was like, how? Teach me some shit. Real quick. Practice next. Alright, next, uh, next note. Card. What's been your. Biggest personal accomplishment in your life? The relationship with my sister.

Mm. My sister, Caitlyn. Uh, she's my older sister. She's my best friend. I would say if I, if no matter what, probably the first person I'm calling for anything is Caitlyn, and I would say I, most things she feels [00:35:00] probably the same way, probably maybe on her, like her career stuff. She's like, yeah, get outta here.

But, um. No, my, definitely my relationship with my sister. What's gone into that?

Consistently hanging out with each other. Seeing each other, right, like you can, you can lose, your relationship can dwindle or, or deteriorate. If you only see communicate virtually digitally, you don't see them and you don't spend time together and you don't like, feel each other's energy. Right. Or not just in each other's presence.

So every year she comes down here once, and I usually go to her place twice a year in Virginia and we'll just sit there, like I'll go to the gym, I'll come home, make food, sit on the couch for hours, nice, do nothing. It's like the type of thing I would wanna do here by myself, but we can, we do it together.

So it's been fun. She's got a great dog too, dude. It's amazing how. It doesn't sound like a ton of effort, but in the course of right a year, it actually is a lot of effort to make that intentionality and carve out that time. But once you're [00:36:00] there, it's literally just like refills the cup immediately.

Right. Especially when you're committed to something and you're trying to stay consistent. Like sometimes traveling can be a a pain, especially for a lifestyle that we like to live, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. You have to make, I, I feel like it's like I, I forget who I heard say it, but someone say it's like the 97% rule, 3% of your year, 5% of your year.

You're dedicating to people you want to build those relationships with. Right. Spending that time with the other time you can go psycho mode. Well, if the people around you don't understand, I mean that Miami Trip's a good example. Mm. I told Brett, I was like, I'm gonna work out. I'm gonna go to Sun Life. I go eat steak at night.

Like this is what the fuck I'm gonna do. That's what I did. Fuck yeah. And he but the right people around me. And you did, and you did just that, the right people around me and they're like, hell yeah dude. Have a blast. Like, go kill it. You were there. Like, everybody's like, that's awesome. Yeah. And everybody kinda did their own.

That's how it should be, bro. Um, [00:37:00] I also think that Sorry to, sorry to cut you up. I was just gonna say, I, I appreciate what Diane just said 'cause I, I think that there's a lot of young guys who really look up to you guys and. Just hearing like, Hey, you gotta like have these buckets that you're in full com, you're in full commitment to your workouts, your lifestyle, the way that you're pursuing your goals, but then also committed to making that time.

So I, I love that. Stay flexible with it too though. Yeah. Things change, things evolve. You might be seeing progress in one area and it's time to take energy outta somewhere else and be more, be more rigid. Right. Mm. But then, and, but you gotta remain flexible, right? Maybe work's calling you and you're seeing a lot of progress at work, but you're like, oh, I've been spending as much time at work as I should be.

Right? Yeah. Maybe it's time to reevaluate. Put more energy there. Yeah. I'm constantly, it's something I try to take pride. I, I take pride is I'm constantly reevaluating where my energy needs to go. If I thi, if I see things [00:38:00] slipping, like, come on, Donny. Like, put some energy back there. Stop slipping. Right?

And other things have to take a backseat. I think when you do that over time it compounds and you get to a point where it's like you're happy and like you're maintaining. And if you want to add energy, you add energy somewhere else, but otherwise you're in a good space. Love it. Yeah. Trip. Sorry, that's just a frame of mind of No, it's great man.

I think it's gonna help a lot of people actually. People probably mindset that. That's really good. Thanks. My grandma used to say adaptability is the key to life. And I think it's like, I mean, being flexible is a, is a, is a strength like. Ben, don't break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, man, that question for me, like, truth be told, I, I, I wiped my slate 54 days ago or whatever it was.

I had a pretty, we'll call it like life changing for me moment. Um, and I wiped everything clean. [00:39:00] It was like, you know, mm. Yeah, I'm almost five years sober. That's great. Yeah. I lost a hundred pounds. Yeah. I did an Ironman. Yeah. I ran 200 miles in seven weeks. Like, I, I, I wiped all that shit. It's like, it doesn't fucking matter anymore.

Mm. It's next. And, and my greatest accomplishment in life, I think, is it's, um, being here today. Um, and, and, and knowing the places that I've been in my own head and the places that I could be right now. That don't, that aren't inclusive of sitting here with you guys. Um, I think my greatest accomplishment is just being here, and I think people need to hear that too.

Like, sometimes, sometimes that's the win, dude, not being in the fucking ground. So I think that, um, that's my greatest accomplishment, but I, I don't think, I don't want to ever put limits on what's possible either. Hmm. Like, I don't wanna set a [00:40:00] target. Even in my own mind anymore, like that's why I haven't signed up for any races or anything like that this year.

Like, I'm just like, I'm gonna push as hard as I can and let whatever unravel, unravel, like let it be what it's gonna be. And that's very hard for me to do, but it's also freeing. Um, so I don't know what my next accomplishment's gonna be or my biggest accomplishment. And, and again, like. Me being here is my greatest one right now.

And if I have the opportunity to help somebody today, tomorrow, the next day, like that's my greatest accomplishment of that day. So like, that's it. Hmm. Yeah. You guys feel like there's, um, I feel like the topic of mental health with guys is, is pushing two directions. One where it's like, feels like it's a little bit.

A little bit too cupcakes and rainbows, and then there's another one that's, you know, just ignore it completely. Mm-hmm. I'm curious to get your guys take on, just like, how do you, how do you keep yourself mentally fueled [00:41:00] to continue to go after and take on life? You wanna go? Yeah. I mean, I, mine's probably not pg, but yeah.

I mean, I've. Multiple times in my life battled with like suicidal ideation and thought about ending it. And, um,

this is why it's so critically important, and I can only speak for men to have something. A why, a purpose, something greater than yourself. Yes. Because if you don't, there's plenty of like, there's too much space there in the mind for you to make a bad decision. Like, you have to be able to click to that thing where it's like, no, I, I fucking, I can't do that.

Right. And here's why. Um, I think that there, my, my issue around mental health, and this is like a hard thing to talk [00:42:00] about because I don't wanna ever discount someone's battle, but it's almost become like, so, like culturally like celebrated, if that makes sense. Almost like where it's like. Everything's about that.

It's like another bumper sticker. Yeah. And like what I wanna say to people, like, and this sounds fucked up, man, but it's like, well, have you thought about killing yourself in the last week? Because if you haven't shut the fuck up. That sounds horrible. Like that's where my head's at. Because there are people that you're gonna come in contact with today that are just trying to get through today.

Yep. Right. And, and that is real fucking mental health. And I'm, I'm not discounting anyone's feelings. Like I, I hear you. You can have feelings and, and you're, you're rightfully so. But there's these like buzzwords that have been attached to mental health too. Like, you know, like. Whether it's trauma or it's, um, you know, fucking, every male walking earth is a narcissist now.[00:43:00]

You know what I'm saying? Like, like, no, that's not true. Yeah, right. All these different things, and it's because everyone's learning about it through Instagram. Yeah. Everyone's getting programmed and the reality is like, like real mental health. I just, I think we have to get to a place where it's one, it's okay to talk about it.

But we shouldn't glamorize it either. Right. It's a very difficult line to walk, I think. Um, and, and I think just for me it's like there's levels to this shit. That's how I'll put it. Yeah. I think when you show up in love around this conversation, you can discern between who's kind of just saying it to be a part of this like whole, I'm say like external validation around kind of maybe just going through some.

Tough times versus somebody who's really struggling. Yeah. I can't say I have ever had suicidal thoughts, so [00:44:00] I, I don't sound like a softie, but I feel for you man, and I appreciate you sharing that. Yeah. For me, what, what down looks like, I guess if, if, if we're, we will go down there, it's like I'll be in a, I'll be in a groove 2, 3, 4 weeks, right.

Where it's just flying progress. Making progress here and there. Waking up every day, motivated feeling, we have a sense, sense of purpose. And then all of a sudden, you know, Monday, Tuesday, on a random, on a random week, everything's wrong. Self-destructive reflect way too reflective, right? Like reflecting on everything I'm doing.

Oh, is that the right? Should I message that person? Eh, am I doing, am I creating content the right way? Right? Am I training the right way? Should I be working with someone different? And it's like, where do these thoughts come from? And it bogs me down and it bogs me down for two, three, maybe four days. And for me, the only way to like to get over it is to just keep going.

Time and time again, like I've learned, it's like you just, you just have to revert [00:45:00] back to what you were doing. What were you doing before this all started happening? Like just keep doing that. And eventually you see this like crazy cycle you get on and you're like, why am I even thinking this again? I know exactly what's gonna play out here.

You know, you know what's terrifying though? This is, this is really actually fucking good that you're telling, you're saying what you're saying. I think what you just shared will probably help 99% of people. I do. What? The fact that just keep doing what? You just keep fucking going. Yeah. Just keep fucking going.

That's, that's what knocks people out of the game. Just keep fucking, I've heard like Brett or you guys talk about the analogy of. The people, people who do podcasts stick, right? Yeah. It's like they just keep doing podcasts, just keep going. Well, it's an analogy for life, right? It's like what knocks people out of the race.

I feel like, and this is my opinion, this is not scientifically back, but like what knocks people outta the race and puts them into a really dark spot is that they let that first bout, or that one, or that first or second bad week, [00:46:00] wipe them off the map. And if, and if, if, if you're, if you're. If you're pursuing something and you let that wipe you off the map, that can be detrimental, right?

It can be like, my life's over, I have nothing else to work for now. Right. So like someone all deal with that bad week, deal with that, deal with those two or three bad days, just keep doing it. Yeah. I'll say this to that too, man. I think that's so great that you shared that. Uh, I've been in a season where, and I'm sharing this because if there's somebody else out there that.

If it, if it's real to them, it's real to them. Most of my cycles have been very similar to what you just described, where I can work my way out of it. Mm-hmm. Dude, this groove that I've been in the last 54 days, I haven't been able to work out of it yet. I'm still having the same doubts. Mm-hmm. The same struggles, the same thoughts driving down the road, like all that shit is ever present.

Hmm. And I'm wondering, when the fuck is it gonna click? Right. [00:47:00] The thing that keeps me going though is what you said, like, I know I'm closer today to being better than I was yesterday. I don't know what the fuck that looks like, and I don't know how long that is. Mm. But I know I'm closer. And so it's just like if you're out there and you're in this phase and you hear like, ah, a week of hard work, you'll pull yourself out like ho.

Usually that is the case, always like, yes. But there are seasons of life where it's just like. This shit ain't lifting, dude. I, I've leaned into everything I could possibly lean into and it's still heavy and it's still dark, and it's like all I can do is push harder. I know that that's, people don't wanna hear that.

They're like, well, you need, you need to do this, you need to do that. And like, that's, that's fucking great for them. The only thing that gives me relief is pushing. Mm-hmm. Um, and I'm just hoping that like, one day I, as soon it'd be great to wake up and just be like. Okay, we're, we're back like, here it is.

Baseline. Yeah. Back to baseline. I [00:48:00] don't want to be high, you know what I mean? I just want to be here. And for the viewer or the viewer saw that, but like the listener, like, here is what he just said. I just wanna be at a level. Mm-hmm. I don't wanna be constantly fighting to get back to that, so just keep fucking going.

That's all it's, that's it. There's no other answer. Amen. Yeah. I feel like a lot of people struggle with this idea of like. What the destination looks like, like where they're going. It's a super cliche, but it's like, oh, everyone like, you know, puts in all this work. They get to the point where they were like shooting at and they realize that it was all about the journey.

It was all about the process, which I think everyone who's going after something fully realizes in the moment they're going after whatever they're going after. But it's easier said than done. And I think that like it is tough to like. Truly enjoy the process when you're feeling negative thoughts or you know, [00:49:00] real life hits and you have other people involved with how you're managing your life and your lifestyle.

And it's, those are like real relationships and real feelings is, I think, like the idea of getting to a destination is almost a false promise. Mm-hmm. But you need those destinations along the way to help you pull yourself to kinda the version of yourself that like. We're kinda all talking about like the person whose gifts are being exemplified or like, you know, pulled out and able to be like used and utilized by other people.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, that's good. That is good. Wow. What, um. Just a, uh, on that note on consistency. All the above. I got one more question to me, Harry, and then I got to, uh, get a little, I got a little weakness. Max in, yeah, drip those two. He is gotta do some toaster bar. I'm about, I'm about to get after it a little bit too.

Oh, okay. Oof. [00:50:00] Squash needs more of you. I'm wearing bar. Uh, is it good? I knew we got a rain after this. Real quick. What is a rain energy drink? Yeah. 300 milligrams. Real quick, quick slap. What were you about to say about consistency? About it? No, just the fact that we had made one more question. Oh, I love it.

We've got 12 minutes. We got No, I got like, one more question I gotta get over there. Let's get, let's get 'em, let's get 'em over there. Alright, let's get 'em a good question then. Do you have a question? Listen, don't interfere on my training time. There's nothing I want to know about you that I haven't asked you.

That's just me. All right. Not from a place of love. Alright, so, alright. We're, we're done with the que? I thought you had more Uh, no, no, no, no. All right. We're good then. All right. My bad. I wasn't. I as assume he had like a stack over there. I assumed he had, I had a thick stack, but we kind of rolled through 'em all.

Rolled through 'em all. Yeah. Okay. Well, I, I'll ask you a question. Alright. We got, we don't, we don't have, we don't have to. No, we do. Let's put a little, we got margin for one more question. Let's put some money in the pot, dude. Not, not literally, but like in the pot. Okay. Let's go around. What's one thing [00:51:00] we can all commit to right now that makes us a better version of ourselves so that we can be a better version for the people around us?

And let's commit to it. And hold each other accountable to it. Okay.

Why don't we, why don't we post it later? It's a lot of thinking we have to do on the spot. Do you, do you think, is yours a physical goal? Is it a, it can be anything. Okay. You have to find, I believe so. Physical's easy for me. Yeah. You think mental mental's the more challenging one. Mental's the hard one for me.

Physical's easy. I can go break myself off 24 7. The mental, emotional side is, is harder for me to really dial in. Yeah, a hundred percent. What about you? Would you agree with that or you flipped? No, definitely. I think everything for me flows through physical, like if, if I'm dialed in physically, everything else, everything kind of You're good.

Feels easier. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like that. Physical is definitely the easiest. [00:52:00] Um, what can I improve on mentally? Something to do with negative thoughts. Like ident, trying to identify them better. I mean, I know it's like, how are you guys gonna hold me to that? But yeah, I mean, I can give you my word.

Yeah. Maybe I'll text you guys once in a while. How about that? Yeah, I love that. I'll text you guys once. I like that at least once over, once or twice over the next two weeks, I'll text you like, what's a crazy negative thought I just had? Yeah. Think you caught it, right? Yeah, I think that's great. Oh, I got one.

Good question. Negative thought or negative thought. Okay. Um, yeah, I wanna reach out to people that, like, I feel like I do make a lot of time and space for people, but I also, I also I think, can do a better job about like, really being in people's lives and not just kind of, yeah, letting it be like, um, you know, meet me here.

Once a week and kinda just like creating space for stuff, which I think is really healthy and really good, but like [00:53:00] going in steps further, penetrating like,

yeah, I agree. Get in there. Yep.

Okay. Um, yeah, all that. Let me re-shift. Um, I think for me. Mine. Mine's gotta be mental, emotional for sure. Like I said, the physical sides of whatever cakewalk. Yeah. I think for me, fucking cakewalk, I'll tell you this. I want to commit to, um, consistently sleeping, um, kind of physical. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I fail at it pretty bad, but it affects my mental deeply.

Yeah, true. Um, dude, sleep is crazy. Sleep sleep's a whole different series, but like, that's where it all starts. Okay. Fucking okay. No sleep then. Fuck it. I won't sleep. Um, let's say, I'll tell you [00:54:00] what I tell you. It'd be a good one. I need to be much better at not writing people off. Fair. Like I'll write people off before I try to hold them accountable.

You do so well in New England, man. Yeah. You, you should move to selfie. You might be from, he's from New Hampshire or something. Yeah. I just have a bad case of the fuck right now in this season of my life. Dude. Say that again. I just have a bad case of the fuck. Its, yeah, it's fine. I do too. A little bit.

It's like, oh, you're, you, you're, you're not gonna keep your word. I fuck it like moving on. Like, and it's bad. I, I could be better at that. And I'll text you when that guy that happens. Trip was on trip was on my case. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna try to get there at 5 45 in the morning. It was like 5, 5 50. I'm like, yeah, I'm right down the street.

Guys. What happened at 5 45? Like, oh God. I was there at 5 31. Yeah, I was pissed sitting and I drove 50 minutes. You're savage, dude. No, that's why I'm hanging out with you. No, because I, 'cause I'm trying to get, then you punished me on the track. Ah, well good. Yeah, I never stopped running. It goes both ways.

Just keep fucking running. I guess. You two are both legends and I think you guys are both in unique seasons of life where you are modeling out the [00:55:00] person that you've always wanted to be. And I just want to encourage you guys to. Make space for the right people, but just keep going. You guys are, um, I think a lot of people are being drawn into the, the way that you guys are carrying ourselves right now and uh, it's exciting.

So I appreciate you too, Harry. Appreciate you guys coming. And Brett. And Brett too. You and Harry, Brett getting married in a week. Yeah. What is it with you guys? Did you guys just get together last year and not tell anybody that you guys were just gonna do this shit? Caught the bug. Hmm. Okay. You know, we'll hang out, dude.

You know what I mean? High five. Don't leave me fucking hanging. Thanks. All right, fellas. If you're listening to this podcast still, go check out Muse and Ain't Dead yet. Podcast. These guys are legends. Love 'em both. So thank you guys for listening. Muse ain't dead yet.