#404 Jake Thomas: The Cost of True Transformation
Do we hit it? Let's do it. Okay. Yeah. Yep.
Speaker 2:Well, Jake, welcome to the Meat Mafia podcast, brother. Ready to roll? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's hit it.
Speaker 2:Dude, we're
Speaker 1:so pumped. It's been about a year in the works, man.
Speaker 3:A year in the works, really. Almost to the month.
Speaker 1:We met you and your mom at, Hack Your Health last year. And you hadn't even I think you were still in, what was the town in Texas? You were still in Kerrville. And you were doing all these crazy endurance pursuits. Weren't you gonna do was it a marathon a day for a certain number of days?
Speaker 3:Yep. There was a a guy that's a friend of mine now that had recently run five marathons over five days, and he did it all fasted. So no calories, no food. He was taking in only water and mixed electrolytes, but calorie free electrolytes, so no sweeteners or additives to them. And I was like, that is badass.
Speaker 3:He had never run a marathon before. Also to this, add a caveat to that, and I was like, dude, this guy is what a stud, what a cool story. So he ran five marathons over five days, fasted, fasted, fasted, fasted, fasted. I thought that was just the coolest thing and at the time I was zero car running triathlons and other endurance events and marathons and ultramarathons and just kind of doing pretty well and I felt pretty comfortable and confident in what I was doing. And I was like man five over five I was like I could do seven over seven you know and I started to train for it and it was just like man this is a different beast, A different thing in my mind, a different thing in my body.
Speaker 3:I remember texting you, or leaving you I think a long voice note afterwards. Was like, or a couple of months into the training, and I was like, yeah, I don't think this is gonna be the best thing for me, and I think my ego caught a hold of me really well, which is the truth, and like, you know, I said, why am I trying to go steal this from my boy Alex McDonald? Like he's a freaking legend for having done that. Let him be there. Like that's a great peak for him to have and to be on the top of.
Speaker 3:I was like I don't need to be doing that and like I said it was really challenging, and I was like, I don't I don't wanna do this. So my heart was definitely not in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I remember I remember that text exchange, and we'll get into this on the show. I mean, you've done so many incredible pursuits, and it just seems like you're one of those guys is that as you continue to progress, you're just always I don't know. It just seems like you're seeking something in regards to really fulfilling your potential, which that those are the type of men that Harry and I always gravitate towards. But, yeah, we were having that texting exchange, and the synopsis was like, dude, there's a if you don't feel it in your heart, there's always a time to do it when when the timing actually makes sense.
Speaker 3:Or whatever the the the exhibit, whatever the exercise, whatever the competition or the the thing, whatever that thing is that's like driving you to want to do it or push yourself or explore that, you've got to be emotionally invested in it truly because if you get to a point that's really gonna test you, if you're not really committed to it, if you're not really in need of whatever's on the other side, you're gonna stop when that resistance hits. You might get through the first few phases of it but when it really gets challenging and it really gets uncomfortable or it gets scary like you're gonna really figure out whether or not something you want to do or not. It has nothing to do with physical ability. Know, I had that recently happened during an extended dry fast. I was out at a retreat, a dry fasting retreat of all things which people like so you're gonna pay money to go somewhere and not only not eat but they're not going to serve you water either.
Speaker 3:I was like, exactly. Know?
Speaker 1:What are your margins on that? Most margins dude.
Speaker 3:When I first get there, one of the other participants she's like, yeah so this is a an all excluded adventure, know, all excluded vacation or whatever. Was like, yeah, everything, nothing, nothing's included. Everything's off the menu. But it was a really interesting kind of thought to me beforehand. I was like, think about the amount of people or the kind of person that's gonna attract and bring there.
Speaker 3:I was like, these people are gonna be very serious. They really wanna be there. Nobody's there by mistake. Like, like, oh, this isn't the, you know, buffet for whatever or this wasn't the all inclusive, you know, swingers resorts. Like, this is a very finite group of people, Scope and target audience.
Speaker 3:And I wanted to meet that person, those people. I wanted to be like okay these people have come to the ends of the earth because they haven't been able to find healing or progress or just improvement through conventional medicine, most of them. I was there for curiosity more than anything exploration, and just I was like, man, to be there in this environment with control and monitoring from the premier authorities in this field, like heck yeah, that sounds awesome. So I had originally wanted to do eleven days, again ego. I'd done seven days here by myself in Austin last year, and it's seven days without water, it's seven days without food, no contact with water, so no skin, no hand washing, teeth brushing or bathing for seven days.
Speaker 3:And my previous time before that was only seventy two hours which really challenged me. And so doing seven days compared to three days, was like, okay, that's a big jump but I think I can do it. So for me, the same logic was like, well, if I did seven, I could do 11. Sure. Why not?
Speaker 3:As the dry fast goes on, it really, really compounds exponentially. Like the effects become so much greater, the physiological changes, the difficulty in handling yourself physically and mentally and just everything else around it compounds and compounds and compounds. I wasn't prepared for that. The people that are there, many of them are there in their last legs because they've had chronic issues like lifelong dealings with Lyme disease. Many of them, almost two thirds of participants there were people with chronic and long term Lyme disease.
Speaker 3:Other autoimmune issues, lots with different dietarily related illnesses or allergens or sensitivities histamine intolerances to various types of food, particularly like aged foods and cured foods like meat. And hearing what these people had gone through, how much money they'd spent, the pain, the trauma, the difficulty, da da da, I was like, Damn, like they have to be here. I'm here by choice. So when it came down to the my breaking point, so to speak, at day eight, and I was just like, I just don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna have another sleepless night.
Speaker 3:I don't wanna have to face this anymore. I just don't want to do this. I don't have the desire to go on. I have the physical ability. I'm fine physically, but I do not have the desire to go on.
Speaker 3:These people did. You know, these people were able to reach for something that I could not. They were able to conjure something that I couldn't. And it was a life or death kind of feeling of like obligation and that I have to do this. I didn't have that.
Speaker 3:So as much as I had physical ability and strength and endurance, I didn't have that desire. So very long way to answer that question of like, man, desire is everything. Because when it comes down to it, whatever it is, if it's a drive fast or it's a change and improvement in relationship, you're trying to get promoted at work, and repair something with your kids, whatever. When the challenge really comes, it's like, it doesn't matter how much infrastructure preparation, how strong you are. Like if you don't really want to do it, it's not going to matter.
Speaker 2:How was that reintegration period back into eating? Yeah, I feel like fasting is one of those things where it can reorient your relationship with everything, kind of like what you were just talking about. Like if you're going through a difficult decision or have a relationship that you need figure out how you're entering into that space. Like how did the fast actually affect life afterwards? Yeah, man.
Speaker 2:Fasting has this cool
Speaker 3:way of making you see things differently because when you remove all these normalcies, even if they're healthy normalcies like healthy food or water for that matter. When you're stripped down and it's just you, just your thoughts, your own feelings about yourself, you know, your own sense of self worth, for example. For many of us, we've never even been there. We can't remember the last time we were, right? Like, hey, we're great when we're all showered, and we've worked out this morning, we maybe got some good food in us, like we've got you know, maybe we hit a cold plunge, like we've had all these checked boxes of self care, personal love, growth development, whatever, of just like I'm feeling good.
Speaker 3:A lot of dopamine, a lot of senses of pride, respect, and then obviously the physiological benefits that come from the exercise or this food or this other modality that help keep us feeling great. Like, all those things are true. But who are we without any of that? How do you feel with none of that? You know, what does it feel like to just totally be stripped down and like barren without any of our resources or additives, supplements, you know, attributes, external attributes?
Speaker 3:And I'd never felt something like that so strongly because I've been insulated with the right people, good food, good activities, all healthy, all these are good things. But when you don't have them, you're like, Oh my God, like, am I enough just as I am? Like, man, this feels weird. I don't have my toys. I don't have my outlets.
Speaker 3:Like, I don't like just sitting here. And then one of the most difficult things about it, about an extended dry fast, is your sleep is eventually gonna go. Usually by like the third night, you just will literally stop sleeping. Your cortisol is so high, you've got a couple of other stressors in your body that are just keeping you like kind of peaked in your mind, to where sleep is almost impossible. Like literally almost impossible.
Speaker 3:So you compound that into the already compounding effects that are taking place, and it's just you know, people think about it, it can't be that difficult, it can't that difficult. If you could sleep through it and we all laugh during the thing like man if we could just get a few hours of sleep like this would not be nearly as bad because you could sleep your way through it but you can't. You know like even in prison people talk about like yeah if you sleep half the time you're there you sleep half your time away. Granted, I'm not gonna try to compare those two that much, but like in this case, you literally can't, cannot do it physically sleep your way through it. And that's a big game changer.
Speaker 3:Like to this day, when it comes to interrogation of persons, prisoners of war, anything, the first thing you do is take their sleep away.
Speaker 2:Because
Speaker 3:it's so effective. No matter how strong you are as a person, no matter how seasoned you are as in whatever you've been able to do or withstand, like you take somebody's sleep away, there's only so much they can withstand before they start to break down. So you add that on to this whole thing, it's like, you can't escape that part, and that's what really makes it so difficult. But when you come out of it, everything in life is different. Know, you're that first sip of water, you're just like, it's like just holding it.
Speaker 3:You're like, people have no idea how convenient this is and how much this means, you know, and how what it took to create this maybe. Like, you're just looking at it differently. How was this made? How did this get to my hands? Like, how was this bottled?
Speaker 3:What was the process of excavation and creation? And I'm not thinking about that when I'm just like, yeah, give me another bottle. And crack it open and just go for it, right? Similarly to like getting gas out of the pump. I didn't really make the connection of what this took to be created and made and delivered to me until I worked in the oil field offshore.
Speaker 3:And I was like, man, to see these kids, high schoolers out there roughnecking and roust about and then these big like season twenty, thirty year vets that are just running the rig floor. I was like, these guys are what makes this machine work, and what makes me not even think about just going to take the pump out and fill up the truck. But with fasting, the food aspect of it, the water aspect of it, the physical changes that take place, obviously are direct. But I see them much more as indirect in the sense of the introspection and just the observance of things in a different way. That's what really takes place.
Speaker 3:Because if you're focused on like, I can't eat or I'm not drinking water, like you're gonna miss all that. Because that's almost like the that's what you gotta ante up with. You know, like you wanna step into that place, you wanna step into this cave in your mind of like extreme observance and just like what's going on and what can I see and feel and understand differently? You got to surrender those initial things which is okay, if I'm doing a water fast, I'm surrendering food. That's my investment to the experience.
Speaker 3:If I'm doing a dry fast, I'm surrendering water. That's my investment to the experience. Not my void, not my loss, but it's like, alright, I'm gonna get all this stuff out of it. All I gotta give you is water. Okay, I'm good with those terms.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna get all this stuff out of it, all I gotta give up or invest with is food. Okay, I'm good with those terms. So yeah, those first few days especially, is just extreme gratitude and appreciation. Your Sips of water are just orgasmic. Literally, it's inexplicably good and nourishing because you're so depleted and drained and longing for it that when you get it, it's just you know, words can't do it justice.
Speaker 3:And then the other little things that take place, whether it's the first food that you have or a different experience a shower, brushing your teeth. You know, like these little things that we just take for granted because they're part of our normal lives. And even if they're good for us, when you get them again after being devoid of them, it's just a whole new appreciation.
Speaker 1:I'd imagine it was probably the ultimate reminder of why contrast in life is so important, right? Like the bad and the low moments is what makes the good. You makes you appreciate the good so much. And I I really appreciated following you from afar. You'd always take a picture of your journaling sessions in the morning too.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:And it looked like you were just, like, going to war in those journaling sessions. What were some of the thoughts? Like, what would you like, what were
Speaker 2:some
Speaker 1:of the thoughts and feelings that were coming up during that that eight day period?
Speaker 3:It's true. Keeping the habits are a good thing. You know? Number one, the experience is it's never gonna be as great it's rather how do I say this? It's as good as it's gonna be during the experience.
Speaker 3:That's as good as it's gonna get. No matter how hard or easy or whatever is happening then, like, you gotta love what's going on. Because when you stop it, it's over. You're this rare air only for a certain amount of time. And you can't stay there forever, right?
Speaker 3:You can't dry fast forever. So it's like you're going in there with an intention in your mind of like, Okay, this is gonna be tough, it's gonna ask a lot of me, but I'm volunteering for this, like I'm doing this on my own free will, I'm walking into this by choice. So appreciate it, absorb what's happening, like bathe in that challenge, bathe in the difficulty. Because when you step out of it, you're gonna be like, damn it, I wish I could go back in a weird way. So in the morning, those first habits and bits of the routine and like getting some stretching in and morning movement, writing things down, morning thoughts.
Speaker 3:Number one, it's an escape. So you learn a lot about things in the form of whether they're good or healthy or otherwise, and how there are methods of escape for us all the time. Like having a bottle of water with me everywhere I go. Having a bottle of water in my console in the truck always, because it's just what I do. It's a habit.
Speaker 3:But it's like those ticks that I would go to it for to reach over and have a sip, have a sip, it's like, do I really need that? Or am I just doing it to break up some monotony of those few minutes or I'm in traffic or I'm just it's a habit. And when that's gone and you're like, you know, I'm still phantomly reaching for it. I'm like, shit, like it's a habit. It's just a tic.
Speaker 3:It's I wish I could escape this moment and this feeling just to do that. It's not even that I need this that badly. It's just to be able to escape the moment, so to speak. But those morning journal thoughts were like me basically saying that. Like I was like, oh god, this is not fun.
Speaker 3:You know, I'm being very challenged right now. This is what I asked for. These are in the later days. But in the beginning days, it's just kind of like the initial observations of the body. Mouth is beginning to dry, feeling body feels fine right now, just kind of doing it taking an inventory of myself physically and mentally the first couple of days.
Speaker 3:And then when the sleep starts to really go away, kind of reflecting on that like last night was tough, didn't really sleep at all, sigh. And then talking about like, how are we gonna deal with this today? And I'm, you know, I can't say or I would write, I can't think about eleven days. I have to just think about today. I can't even think about tonight.
Speaker 3:I have to think about right now. I have to think about this morning. Like I would compartmentalize and break it down like similarly to a race, right? You guys run distance races. It's like you think about like, oh my god, got 13 miles to go.
Speaker 3:It's like, one. Just get to the next one. Yeah. You know, and this was a similar kind of thing where we had a schedule for the day, where we had different things going on, and I would just use the schedule as my means of like, just get to that next activity. Get to the next activity.
Speaker 3:Get to the next thing. We'll deal with this sleep issue when we get there. You know, we'll deal with tomorrow if you make it. So I was just using these signposts and reminding myself each day of like those signposts and kind of journaling was one of them because it was one of those habits that was like, okay, just get to, you know, I'd finish my stretching and I'd like, oh my god, I feel terrible and I'm tired, like, go journal. Like, put your mind in that, put your feelings in that, it's a good place to escape and also break up the monotony and be another signpost to keep you going.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. It's almost
Speaker 2:like you had
Speaker 1:a miniature Navy SEAL hell week in Buds from because when you talk when you talk to guys that have gone through hell week or Buds, they say exactly what you're saying. They're like, just get to breakfast. Just get to lunch. Just keep the boat on top of my head.
Speaker 3:It's
Speaker 1:really so it's like its presence ultimately. Was a
Speaker 3:%. A %. Yeah. And and to where you can't escape it. Right?
Speaker 3:Like, similarly to to like a buds thing, it's like you're there. You can't escape it. You can't mean you could ring out and choose to leave but like when you're there like you're totally there and the other people around you are depending on your effort you know to be there. And this has a similar thing that this is much more of an individual sport but there are other people there who are feeding and you know transmuting energy with you. Like I was feeding off of some of these other people.
Speaker 3:They're feeding off of me, like we're motivating each other, we're inspiring one another, you can sense and feel and see struggle in people and like, you know, be able to give somebody a pat on the back or just a, you know, sometimes when we're walking in the morning past each other, we don't even say anything because you're preserving saliva big time and you're trying to talk as little as possible, even though we ended up all being like Chatty Cathy's because you want to talk to people you know. But like we'd walk by sometimes each other in the morning and just be like you know just give a nod because I know what you're going through. I can sense what you're kind of dealing with like I can see he's struggling. I can see you're doing better. You can see that I'm not doing that great.
Speaker 3:And it's just be like, you know? But having that sense of camaraderie and teamsmanship is like, it's still evident and definitely helpful, but at the end of the day, it's an individual sport and your desire has got to be there. So like whatever your system or method that you can use to keep yourself present by distracting you from what's bothering you maybe or like the pain even though some people are gonna say no, you should be present for the pain and I agree with that but there's a plan, but then when it comes down to it and the bullets start flying in there, it's like the plan's not always gonna be perfect.
Speaker 2:The awareness that you gain by doing something like that is super interesting. Like, I don't know if there's anything else that really strips you down to the core, way that the experience that you're describing really does. And I've done a long fast before and, but I'm like doing it in society around other people who are kind of just going about their day to day life. But I imagine this, like, I'm like trying to visualize where you are. It's like everyone else is around you fasting.
Speaker 2:So it's kind of cool to think like there's a shared experience going on there as well. Like the way you're describing, it's like, I just feel like having other people around you to kind of like talk through some of those moments of realizations that you're having and some of those just little insights that you're able to share with other people. It's really interesting.
Speaker 3:Totally. And like, you know, you talk about doing them around here. It's kind of fun in one hand because you're like, you know, you know, you're alone. You're pretty lone wolfing, right? When you're fasting with other people, who are you gonna tell?
Speaker 3:Number one. Like this probably a small list of people you can talk to about it or even smaller list of people that'll relate to you about it, you know? So this kind of a it's kind of fun to me in that regard because I just feel I'm like man, I'm like really killing it out here like nobody else is doing what I'm doing. It feels kind of neat. But yes, like to your point, I was really drawn to that fact that I was like, man, I'm gonna be there with people that are doing this exactly with me.
Speaker 3:I've never done that before. I've never been around a group of other people that are dry fasting. Like whenever I've done that, I've totally been alone. And I'm not talking to people or trying to talk as little as possible or, you know, reduced all my movement and activity. So you really, really feel pretty alone.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. And I was like, that's gonna be a huge benefit. And that was part of my logic of like, I'll make eleven days. I'll have all these other people there. Like, I'm gonna feed off their energy.
Speaker 3:They're gonna feed off mine. We're gonna be pushing each other. I was like, I'll be fine. Like there's no way I'm gonna I'm gonna give in in front of all them either like ego now. I was like, no, like I'm not gonna quit in front of them.
Speaker 3:You know, kind of thing. And I was like, I will feed off of that much more so and like that sense of community and stability and structure is gonna be a huge differentiator that I didn't have when I was here at home doing it in my place in Austin. But as challenging as that was, again, the logic was like, okay, if I could do seven days alone, if I'm going there, I could surely do eleven days with all these other people with the leadership and you know the support staff, but still like it came down to that desire thing of just like, it doesn't matter about how much you think you know, you have to be able to lose or use. It's like what is your innate sense of like desire to be able to tolerate with what's coming at you because you can't dry fasting is so unique to your point about stripping you down like, yeah, there is nothing else that strips you down like that because it's like, it's like the ultimate original stripped down that we're all physiologically born with, like historically born with and have evolved with over time. Like people think it's a crazy novel thing to do and it's a fad and it's like, no.
Speaker 3:This is like the origin story of human evolution is dry fasting and feast and famine. Because even just a couple of hundred years ago, that's a very short sighted amount of time in the past, let's say two hundred years, three hundred years. If we're going out to look for things here locally right now, it's gonna look a lot different around here. And based on seasonality, prevalence or availability of things and resources, we might not have clean water for a day or a few or a week or more. We might not have food for sure for a day or a few or a week or more.
Speaker 3:So like that, you know, again, only a couple hundred years ago. And so people are like, what about the science and medicine behind it and like legitimacy of it? Recorded history is one thing, the advent of science and medicine are another thing, and then the studies based on that science and medicine are another thing, and that's a progress of history. So recorded history first, advent of science and medicine second, and then the studies based on that science and medicine third, most recent. What we're talking about predates all of that.
Speaker 3:Predates recorded history. So there is no proof. There is, I mean, is, but like there is not the amount of proof that people would want to legitimize the practice and to believe in it because it predates recorded history. You know, we're thinking about just a couple hundred years or a couple of thousand, like, there's still a million plus that precede that, and we don't have anything written about that. So like to tap into this thing of stripping down, it's the most evolutionarily innate thing that we have to be able to do that.
Speaker 3:Like even still today, do it. When animals get sick, that's the first thing they do is like, okay, stop the food, stop the water to heal.
Speaker 2:I love the comparison of it too, to like the endurance stuff because both are equally challenging, but one is this like exertion, like pushing yourself to one limit of just like how much can you put out? And the other one's just like, how much can you preserve and like still withstand the challenge?
Speaker 3:Yeah. And that is the challenge itself, Harry, like, because we're so actionable as people and modern humans, hey, tell me to lift harder. Tell me the missing things that I need to lift harder. Got it. Tell me my missing things that I just need to run further.
Speaker 3:Got it. Like, tell me it's something actionable. I'll make it happen. I'll do it. Tell me I need to walk 20,000 steps instead of 15.
Speaker 3:I'll do it. But if I just told you, this thing is so effective and so potent, you can literally sit in your fucking room in your underwear for a week and do nothing, and it's gonna work. That's like impossible to believe. We cannot conceptually like wrap our minds around that. It's so strong, like your body will go into its own state of just physiological cleansing that what takes place, all these different changes and hormonal releases that get enacted and just all these things that take place cannot happen otherwise, do not happen otherwise, and happen for this specific reason because of this specific stressor.
Speaker 3:It's this crazy cascade of of things that that take place and switches that turn on that do not happen under any other circumstance. And for us as a modern society, it's like, what do I need to take? Where do I need to go? What do I need to input? What do I need to do?
Speaker 3:Anything but submit. Anything but but wait. Do nothing? Like, don't even talk? I I can I cannot even move?
Speaker 3:I wouldn't tell you to totally not do that, like, wanna walk and do some stuff. But, like, it's literally so potent and so strong and requires that little of you that all you gotta do is bear it. So that was me going into this, was like, okay seven days at home, I'll have all these people there, I'll have the support staff, the structure that Jake, all you gotta do is bear it. You don't have to be cool. You don't have to do you don't have to put on any of these other bravado or shows or like all you have to do is bear it.
Speaker 3:Like talking about competition and other events and stuff like that. Like, yeah, like to run, you gotta run. Like, it's a mental thing, of course, but, like, you still gotta locomotion your way in there, you know? It's a big swim. Like, you still gotta do it.
Speaker 3:Like, it's a triathlon. You gotta bust through some fear on the bike, and, there's still parts that are physical and mental and emotional, and, you know, you gotta do those things. Action. This one it's like, all you gotta do is bear it. And just the belief in that, the acceptance of that, like you guys used the word submit earlier, just to accept that fact is a challenge in itself.
Speaker 3:Because the symptoms that are gonna happen and like the physical feelings that you feel and the difficulty, the first day too and even into the later days, you're still battling with the fact that all you gotta do is deal with this thing in your mind. Like, besides that you're tired, besides the depletion of nutrients and what's taking place, like, that's all happening irrespective of your fucking belief. Like, it's just gonna happen. But the whole time, especially in those early days, you're arguing with the fact that this can't be right. This can't be real.
Speaker 3:Is this really gonna happen? Like, am I gonna die? Like, what about what they said and what this thing said? Like, you're just in your fucking head. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And it takes that time to just break you down. And it's like, it's like, no, stay there. You're like, face is just held in the fucking sand. Like, like, can I come up now? Like, I believe.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry. It's like, no, you don't. Like mother nature's like, no, I don't believe you. And you're like, okay, I give in. Like it's like, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3:And you're still trying to argue with it. So before you even feel all those effects truly,
Speaker 1:you got to
Speaker 3:get through this mind maze of paralysis analysis and like doubt and skepticism. And it's like, oh my god, like what else has ever made me feel that way? Like nothing.
Speaker 1:Nothing. Yeah. My brain is really gravitating towards some of the other people that were there that you were talking about, these people that were suffering from Lyme's disease and autoimmune issues and you were talking about how after day eight, you were like, I'm kind of done fighting my ego. Like, I think I got what I need out of this thing versus someone that's there that's so chronically ill, they've probably tried literally everything under the sun. It's almost like this like desperate form of hunger to to do that and just prove that they can make it through because they want to heal.
Speaker 1:And it makes me wonder like in other pursuits in life is that is that the secret? Like having that same mindset?
Speaker 3:Oh God, if you could if you could put that in a pill like, hey we can skip Noble and we'll be trillionaires tomorrow. You know what mean? You could pill if you could I was literally thinking that when it was happening I was like, God, if I could pill these people's will to live and determination. If you could pill that like fuck man, you got a trillion dollar idea. Business for sure.
Speaker 3:Because, yes, they came from all places, all walks of life, all corners of the globe. Some of them have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on various treatments and protocols. Think one guy was upwards of a million on various treatments and protocols, and not just for like a couple of months, some of them for like decades. Like I've been dealing with this since I was 19, the guy was like 45, I was like fuck. Two kids, you know, wife, families, all of it, it didn't matter.
Speaker 3:They had jobs, they had to still deal with work, some of them had to stop working. Like just these crate I'm like, How have you not fucking killed yourself by now? Like, to many of these people and they're like, Oh, don't worry. If this doesn't work, that's what I'm doing next. I'm like, Too soon?
Speaker 3:You know? But like seriously, like to where they did not have a choice. It's either I succeed, I do this, or like I'm gonna die because I'm not gonna continue going on living the way that I was. And I was like, fuck, I love these people. Like, this is what I came for.
Speaker 3:You know, I didn't think this is what I was there for, but I was like, to see this in real life, to see what it looks like to watch one, two, three, 30 one, it was 32 of us, 31 other people be able to reach down and find something that I couldn't. To be able to conjure something that I couldn't. Like with all my might and experience and wisdom and what I thought I could do from being a marine and running fucking races and growing up tough or whatever, it's like I couldn't do what they did. And I get to watch 31 of them do it. Whether she did nine days, he did ten days, eleven I watched two guys do eleven days.
Speaker 3:And I was like, this is not a miracle. This is not impossible. Like, these guys just fucking smiled their way through it. And I couldn't. So to watch that was like, dude, this is just amazing what the human body and the mind are able to do when it really, really believes that it can or that it has to.
Speaker 3:You know? And people say that about us, about you, there's things that you've done that people say, I don't know how he did that, it's impossible. Oh my, I don't know how he keeps going. Like, how'd you do that? How'd you make that happen?
Speaker 3:You find your way. Whatever it is, you find your way to make it the absolute thing you wanna do. You know, like Jack Sparrow says in Pirates of the Caribbean of like his broken compass. It's not broken. It points to the thing that you want most in life.
Speaker 3:And there's that funny scene with Keira Knightley when she's holding it and it's pointing at him at Jack Sparrow and she's like, it's got to be broken. It's like, no, your feelings. You like him, you know? So like with relationships, we as people, we'll do anything to have relationships, you know? Like remote, long distance, whatever.
Speaker 3:I don't care if I see her once a month or once every six months. The promise of love, affection, and intimacy is an amazing driver, and we will do anything to make that happen. And I say that all the time to friends and to clients, especially like, don't tell me you can't do something because you just had a sixteen hour difference in the relationship with a person on the other side of the world that you're happy to go. We will do anything when it is the singular focus of this is what we want to do most in the world and in life. That was something that was deep down in them that I didn't have because it wasn't a gun to my head situation.
Speaker 3:But to them it was without the gun being to their heads. And I was just like, damn, this is badass. But again, these are their feelings, the difficulties that they had to come there with. But for me as a kind of like anthropological observer, it was just like, dang, like this is some badass shit.
Speaker 2:Oh, go ahead.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say, what your clients coming to you
Speaker 3:for primarily? Weight loss and body recomposition, I'd say are the two main things. Sobriety is another good one, but the main I'd say the most common trend in anyone with health is trying to lose weight, typically reduce body mass by way of body fat and create a more improved body composition. So most people think they want to lose weight, but it's like, do you really want to lose weight or do you just want to change how you look? It's usually much more the latter.
Speaker 3:Now, the former typically happens because they're going to change the ratios of skeletal muscle mass to percentages of body fat, but typically the numerical scale is not really a factor there. And this is particularly a misunderstanding usually with women thinking, I want to lose 10 pounds. What if you gained two pounds but you completely changed your physique and how you looked to be the appealing way that you wanted and add the aesthetics that you want. Oh, yeah, I would do that. So for me, I'd say most people it's about body recomposition, a little bit of sobriety, know, then into like mindset leadership.
Speaker 3:Would you say that a
Speaker 1:lot of it is it more what you're teaching them? Is it more mental and spiritual versus just like giving them the playbook of the foods to eat and how to cook it and the way to train? Like, are you attacking that stuff first and then kinda getting into the physical stuff?
Speaker 3:Totally. So to me, it's you can't have you can have one without the other and like I definitely did do that when I used to compete in physique. Like I know what it's like to be on the cover of a magazine and look the part but to be not right in the head and to still be blowing coke on the side, you know, and like to still be partying and like not literally living it. Anybody can create a look, but to have a true feeling and to be truly healthy from the inside and have the look be the result of that is a very different thing. So like when I first started training in New York, it was like ten years ago, I said I didn't want to do this conventionally, I didn't want to work for a gym, I was gonna go right out the gate private, and people were like, Dude, you need to go to a gym, you need to learn how to prospect, and you know, learn I was like, whatever.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna do it this way. And I said that I'm gonna have a different model that's not probably gonna be conventional and appreciated by most because it was not really built to scale in the sense that it's not gonna attract a large number of people but much more so a niche market. You know, somebody comes up to you and says, Harry, I just want you to give me some biceps. You know, Brett, help me get some abs. Like, help me it's all about looking better, looking better, looking better.
Speaker 3:If you focus on that, the feeling better, being healthier, moving better, getting stronger is not always necessarily gonna be there. Right? That sequence is not always gonna happen just because if you focus on the looking part doesn't mean the other ones happen. But if you focus on, alright, man, just wanna feel better. I just wanna get stronger.
Speaker 3:I wanna be able to move my body in a more healthy way. I wanna improve, you know, how I feel within my mind. Like, you focus on these things or those things first, the inevitability of looking better is guaranteed. It's kind of the joke of it. But if you focus on just the exterior and the superficial and you cast aside all the other stuff, it's not going to correlate the same way.
Speaker 3:So from the get go, I was never gonna do that. I was very adamant about I'm not gonna just give you a playbook for six pack abs. I was like, I'm gonna attack your mind first. I want to delve deep inside who you are. So like when I first started training with people, I gave them like a thirty day kind of prep course.
Speaker 3:It was like an in doc, called it. Of like, before we start training, you know, you're gonna do this first. Because people would see me in New York when I was still competing or fitness modeling, like, dude, I'd love to work out with you sometime. Let's work out together. And in my mind, I'm like, you don't wanna work out with me.
Speaker 3:You wouldn't love to work out with me. You just want to touch it for a second. You don't want to do what I do. You don't want to live the way I live to create this. You think you see this and it's just the result of like a little bit of a zhuzh on stuff.
Speaker 3:It's like, dude, this is years of time and investment and 20 fourseven upkeep. You don't want this. Okay. You do? Fine.
Speaker 3:Meet me tomorrow morning at 345 Washington Square Park, da da da da And they're like, fuck that. I'm like, exactly. You know, you quit before the first hurdle even happens. So I would give somebody this thirty day thing of like, before we start training together, you're gonna earn it. Well, what am I gonna do?
Speaker 3:Start eating this way, you know, kind of like a just a whole foods kind of diagram of like things you can pick, pull, and kill. I call it pick it, pull it, kill it. Right? So just eat whole foods. Try that for a month.
Speaker 3:See how that works for you. Work out. You don't have to necessarily work out. Just get get some movement in your body. Get some daily movement and walk it more than you you have been.
Speaker 3:You could wake up and stretch. Add a little meditation. If you can, do some some some reading and writing. Like, these little bits of, like, habits, creating a routine, some type of, like, a different sense of self worth and introspection, like, to have them just thinking differently, moving a little bit differently, maybe more than they were. After that thirty days, they've already lost weight or they've improved their body composition.
Speaker 3:I haven't touched them or seen them. Right? They feel better. They've got a different sense of self worth, there's higher self esteem, oh my god, I lost like two inches of my waist, like, we haven't even worked out yet. And it's it builds this amazing sense of trust before we've even had the first session.
Speaker 3:Not to mention they feel deserving and ready for that. When I'm like alright 03:45 tomorrow morning Washington Square Park. Fuck yeah. As opposed to I'm running for the hills or like I'm not gonna show up this Marine's gonna fucking kill me. I'm gonna call in at 2AM and say I couldn't make it.
Speaker 3:Know like excuses excuses. But after that thirty days they'd be prime and they'd be ready and again they'd feel deserving of it and they'd want to do it. They'd be like I'm gonna fucking take it to this dude now. I'm like good. That's that's what I wanted.
Speaker 3:And it's been in you this whole time. So trying to translate that into the model that I have now is what I really focus on. So like to your question of, yeah, like anybody that comes to me with that, it's like, okay. Cool. That'll happen.
Speaker 3:But first, we're gonna go here.
Speaker 2:I love that idea of creating that relationship at the beginning because it makes sure that they understand that the responsibility for them getting healthier is on them. Totally. It's not you're not gonna help in the sense of like you're doing the work. You're actually just there to like coach them along, keep them motivated and inspired when they need to be and just course correcting when they need it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And that's a huge part of it is understanding your individuality, your autonomy, your your sense of self reliance. Like, I I have a lot of pages in in my program that are just right from the Marine Corps leadership principles book in the sense of, like, you gotta know what self reliance means. I cannot. You have to have those moments.
Speaker 3:You have to have those eureka moments of like I did this on my own. This was all me. God didn't do this for me. Jake sure as shit didn't do this for me. I did this.
Speaker 3:I can't give it to you too much. And then you're like, okay, I was, you know, helped pretty much to get here. It's like, no, I want to be I want you to selfishly have all that as much as possible. With me being such an afterthought, it's just like, oh yeah, Jake Jake did a little bit, you know, something like that. But it's like, you gotta learn how to do it on your own.
Speaker 3:You know, watching my brother's got two kids now, a six year old and a four month old, and watching them grow up and change is a beautiful thing. And watching the the four month old when I get home next month, she'll be walking around. She's already like crawling around. Now she's gonna be walking soon. Watching a child learn how to walk is a crazy cool thing because never in I don't want to be quoted on this, I'm pretty certain barring a physical inability or some type of disability, no child has ever quit on learning how to walk.
Speaker 3:They've never said consciously, nah, fuck it. I'm just not gonna do that. I'm gonna crawl forever. Yeah. I'm gonna scoot forever.
Speaker 3:Like they figure it out no matter how many times they fall, hurt themselves, catch the corner of their eye on the coffee table or when you're the uncle and you're sitting there and you're like, goddamn don't It's scary, but you got to let them do it. You know if she's about to walk into the pool okay get up and you know don't let that happen. But for the most part like you got to just watch and so you are that observer like you're talking about you're you keep them in line a little bit here and there but for the most part they got a waddle, they gotta fall, they gotta figure that out because everybody is looking for this perfect prescription, this exact protocol to follow because we are lazy, we are scared, we feel like we have no time, and we need this hyperly palatable, super efficient sense of change that we're looking for lottery tickets and silver bullets. And that's a big reality that people struggle with to accept, and it's the one that I know they're bringing right to the front door with. But they what most people need is just the realization of like, you are gonna be the winner, you're gonna be the hero.
Speaker 3:It's not about, you know, what I provide in a fucking workout program or a plan or just your mindset and your habits, it's gonna be about realizing that nobody's gonna come save you. And the second you start doing that for yourself, man, like, everything changes.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I've ever heard of another trainer making someone wait a month before you go to the client. Every train especially in New York, it's like, no. Yeah, dude. Like, give me, like, give me your money now versus like, no, dude. You're gonna have to
Speaker 3:It was not a good business model. I mean, how do I say this?
Speaker 1:But it was I think it's a
Speaker 3:business model. It's yeah. Because it, to me, you know, a big part of business is also attracting the customers that you want. Right? So being able to work with people that were just man, if they bought into that, like, she's she's a motivator.
Speaker 3:This dude's a hard dog. Like, because they're buying into themselves, they're not buying into me. You know? That's the whole point about it. It's like, I'm not selling a product.
Speaker 3:It's it's it's I'm selling an idea, but the idea is based around the concept of self belief. Mhmm. So it's like, if you can see that and not like, yeah, but I just want this. I'm like, okay. Well, you can go down the street and is right there or wherever.
Speaker 3:Like, that's fine. And that's great. But I was trying to attract these one percenters. You know? Like, I was trying to attract these these rare aired individuals.
Speaker 3:And, like, that's still what I have today. Like, I don't have a massive book of clients even right now. I've less than 50 people, but like I'd rather have this small group and the ones that are actually consistently attending my like weekly calls, it's less than that, less than probably less than a dozen. But I'd rather have those consistent hard dogs that are just totally bought into themselves and that are just here with me as a form of like support and encouragement, know, mutual support and encouragement much more so me just given one way traffic about do this, do that, listen to this because I'm not fucking Yoda. Like I'm just as lost as you are, you know, but like to be able to work together with someone that believes that they can do it, that's all you need, man.
Speaker 3:Like, that kind of desire is gonna outwork, it's gonna out hustle any of the tangibles or the I mean, you guys know that from running your own business and like having hires and employees. It's like, are you hiring on credentials? Are you hiring on merit? Are you hiring on on drive? Each of those has its place, but being able to disseminate like which one is more important to what you're trying to get done is a big part about being a business owner.
Speaker 3:And similarly with with clients, it's like that was my way of creating the customer that I wanted number one and like really drawing in people that were very serious about themselves.
Speaker 1:Drive is huge, man. If you have the drive, you can figure out the competency piece.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'll teach a monkey how to run a camera. Yeah. You know, like like people like I need this and I'm like, videographers were a diamond, we are a dime a dozen. Photographers were a dime a dozen.
Speaker 3:But people that are that'll show up, be on time, be professional, be polite, be organized, it's like these things that shouldn't be differentiators that are are what really sets you apart. And all that is is about self respect. It's, you know, different senses of loyalty, integrity, honesty, and and self reliance. Again, self belief, self motivation, drive.
Speaker 2:There's a, I feel like an interesting through line between what you're experiencing in the other people in fasting, where I feel like those people that you're observing during the fast and the people that you're coaching, you it seems like you resonate with just like this human spirit that's alive, that's going after something that's desiring something. What is it about you that kind of is attracted to that type of person?
Speaker 3:That's a great question. You know, were talking about New York earlier before we started the show. And I remember when I first moved into the city and for the first few years of living downtown, I saw the same guy in the same place every single day asking for change and money for years. Same place, same guy, you know. And then you learn where other people are in the city doing similar things or the same thing.
Speaker 3:And I remember looking at some of these guys and gals and just seeing their states of condition, and how run down they were, or dealing with various disabilities, or you know, missing limbs, and just like how they were dealing with life, you know, in the heat, in the cold, like in the rain, like it didn't matter, but like the human will to live. I looked at some of these people and I like man I would have stepped in front of a train a long time ago. That's just me thinking you know I'm like damn limping around like that that dirty that fucked up and disheveled I was like I would have jumped in front of a subway car a long time ago But like the human will to live is just amazing, man. It is like, there's nothing else in the world like it, like what we are down to endure. You know, you read about stories or just various kinds of achievement, seeing these people do what they did during these fasts, I'm fascinated by that.
Speaker 3:Somebody asked me then, you know, during the fast, it was like day seven, I think in the morning of day seven, a friend of mine was like, What's your what's kind of your purpose in life right now? And I was like, to fucking get to tomorrow? You know? At the time, I was like I was like, oh, dude, what a terribly ambiguous, like, question to ask me right now. I was like, I don't know, man.
Speaker 3:I can't even think right now, you know? But I sat with it and I was like, it's gotta be self exploration. Like that's to me the main my main drive. If that's the hub of my wheel, then all the spokes are everything that I do that feeds that. So work, travel, adventure, family, friends, like everything is a spoke that feeds that central hub to the wheel of self exploration, curiosity, introspection.
Speaker 3:Because like constantly wanting to learn about me and what's in me and what's around me and just how I can contribute, adapt, evolve, or otherwise be, you know, somehow beneficial, profitable to the world or society, think is like I guess that's kind of my drive. Know, because I've always loved history as a kid and reading books and stories of people. I'm like, man, that dude did what? Like, cool. But I don't know, like, what's the mark you're gonna leave on the planet?
Speaker 3:You know, what will I be remembered for if I died today? You know, would I would people write about me, talk about me, remember me somehow? Or like, would it be somehow contributing to to the future? I don't know. So I think my curiosity is based around that exact word of just curiosity and that like self exploration is like the ultimate adventure, you know?
Speaker 3:And the delve within is the ultimate adventure. We are a limitless cavern of exploration. Absolutely. And like every time after I finish one of these long fasts, the first thing I think of is, damn. There's more.
Speaker 3:This is barely the beginning. I just I've only just started. And as much as I'm like, fuck, that was so hard. It took so much of me to get there. Was like, it's not even a blip.
Speaker 3:It's barely scratching the surface. And it's like, that's no book, that's no outing, that's no environment, that's not Bali, that's not wherever in Peru, like it was in me. It was just in my own mind and my own body and spirit and my relationship with all those things and like winding down the roads within my mind of what those feelings felt like and what else was in there and like having these realizations of like, God, you know, our skin is freaking waterproof. Like we are amazing creatures, you know? Like these weird things where you just you don't even think about it like, Oh water hits my hand and like nothing happens.
Speaker 3:Fucking badass.
Speaker 1:For the listener, what was your journey like getting sober and what did you learn about yourself through that process? I know it's probably a deep question too but you and I never talked about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's good. It's good. It's never ending, know. It took me a few times for sure.
Speaker 3:Like I always make the joke about when you go through a recovery program, they usually have you know, a lot of programs have chips that they hand out. And the twenty four hour chip is really the most valuable because it's the beginning. Know, I got a lot of twenty four hour chips because it took a few times, you know? But like, the twenty four hour one is the most valuable because it's the beginning. It's literally the first step.
Speaker 3:A few months ago, I had a client that was celebrating his first year of sobriety, and on the same call I had another guy who was about to come up on twenty eight years of sobriety. Was like, Wow! And everybody was like, Wow, that's amazing. Twenty eight years, holy shit. And I was like, Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 3:And he's gonna go get that twenty eight year chip tomorrow, and he's gonna be stoked. I was like, I guarantee you, he'll be more proud of the person that gets the twenty four hour chip than he is of his twenty eight years. Because he knows how important that thing is. Because there is no twenty eight years without that first one. And it might take a few first ones, but like the power of that first step or those first days of pattern or habit is one of the big things that sobriety has showed me and taught me and that I try to preach and impress on people preach to and impress to people is that if I were to give each of you a backpack today, an empty backpack, just a nylon backpack, it weighs nothing, weighs a pound, I don't know, And said, walk around with this all day.
Speaker 3:Don't put it down. Okay. No problem. Tomorrow and every day after that, I'm gonna put a one pound weight in it. One pound more each day.
Speaker 3:Harry, you're a big guy. You might not even notice the weights in there until like a week. Right? And then you're like, Jacob, did you put weights in here? I'm like, maybe.
Speaker 3:My point is, you didn't even feel the first ones. Because they're so insignificant and seemingly small that they're not even there. You don't appreciate them, you're not drawn to them, you don't pay attention to them, they're not there. So how effective could they actually be? That is our, as modern humans, perception of things that we need to do.
Speaker 3:Habits or progress or growth or change. It's like, Ugh, these first steps, I don't even feel them. Like, Ugh, these first ten pounds, I don't even see it get lost. Like, Nothing happened in thirty days. You didn't even feel those first few weights in the bag.
Speaker 3:But if I tell you to go pick up that hundred pound backpack, you're gonna fucking feel that. And then I'm like, okay. Now go carry that around all day. It's a lot different. But if you're trained to do it and you gradually have built up over ninety nine days prior to that, one pound at a time, one pound at a time, one pound at a time, you go on day 100, you pick up that bag and you're like, Come on baby, let's go.
Speaker 3:You know that thing. You know every inch of it. You know how to seat it on your body. You're comfortable. You've built up strength and endurance and like an understanding of what's task, what the task at hand is, as opposed to trying to just go muscle your way through it and you end up throwing your back out, now you're sidelined for however long.
Speaker 3:That is sobriety, that is life, that is habits, that is growth, that is change. Everything in a metaphor. The other day at one of the gyms I work out at, got a 200 pound sandbag. 200 pound sandbag is a beast. It's a horrible thing to pick up
Speaker 2:because So uncomfortable.
Speaker 3:It's so uncomfortable. It's, you know, it's the wor it's
Speaker 2:the worst shape.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's just this big ball. Right? And to get in there, you gotta totally get down. You gotta commit to the pickup.
Speaker 3:You gotta really understand how to get your body under this thing, you gotta move it under your arms, and you gotta squat right and lift it right, you can throw your back out. It's it's not easy to do. And then let alone, like, far are you gonna get with that thing? Right? So I'm asking one of my friends, I was like, hey, when did we get the 200?
Speaker 3:And she's like, Oh, it's for you. Was like, Yeah, right. You know? And I was like, Okay, quick story. Everybody look, eyes on me.
Speaker 3:This is all of your problems in life right here. This is your problems with body dysmorphia. This is your relationship issues. This is your feelings of inferiority about yourself. You're trying to get promoted at work, all of it.
Speaker 3:All you gotta do is to pick this up and walk with it one mile and you'll have all those things come true or solved, resolved, whatever. And they're all like, I can't even lift it. I was like, Exactly. But if I told you, do it one pound at a time, five pounds at a time, the same thing, what would you do? Well, I could do it but it's gonna take time.
Speaker 3:Exactly. That is sobriety, that is habits, that is growth, that is change, that is issues of body dysmorphia, relationship, self esteem, any of the things I listed. Because the process is so disinteresting to us, is so scary, that we don't want to accept those initial steps of like, okay, one day at a time. Now this is me way years later realizing this in retrospect, okay? Like, those first days or those first years were not like that.
Speaker 3:It was much more I just am tired of feeling this way. I looked around my social circles and they were not people I wanted to continue socializing with. I wasn't like 25 anymore, know, was 30. I'm like, if I keep doing this, where is it gonna result? What is gonna be my life?
Speaker 3:Like it's not looking to be the way I want it to be. Like if I'm scripting this, is this something that I'd want to read or be entertained by or be able to appreciate? And it was not any of those things. So that was a big drive for me then to get clean. And then through this kind of system of habits and little things that I started to do and how I was feeling from doing them of, okay, not missing a workout in the morning, okay, I'm gonna write things down in the morning too.
Speaker 3:Okay, that feels kind of nice. Alright, I'm trying this whole meditation thing out. When I was first starting to meditate, I couldn't even sit still in the with my eyes closed for two minutes. Like two minutes was my challenge. I couldn't just be because I was like, I couldn't do it.
Speaker 3:So two minutes was my first line. Getting into more things, more habits, more types of personal growth development, just hanging out with better people, different people, more stimulating people, All those things turn into this system. And the more I continue to follow that system, the better I felt and the more loyalty I became to feeling good. The more loyal I maintained. The more I stayed with that feeling good, sense of feeling good, the more loyal I was to the sense of feeling good.
Speaker 1:So just stacking all these little weights. Yes.
Speaker 3:Yes. So like all these little weights, right? So like the one pound weights in the bag. Because they're like little badges, these little gold stars that you get. Habits are great because they give you these little senses of, well, there's the little key bumps of personal good feeling, you know?
Speaker 3:And a lot of key bumps can do a lot and can feel really good. But if you're looking for these big fat lines all the time, like you're not always gonna find them. Sometimes you do. But you're not always gonna find them. But the idea of like, can I just get a bump here and there?
Speaker 3:It's like, yeah. But if you don't do these little things, the feeling that they'll give you of not feeling good about yourself is only gonna add on to how shitty your day has been already. And then you add on to the fact that, oh, I didn't make my bed. I didn't go work out. I meant to go right.
Speaker 3:I didn't. I meant I said I was gonna meditate, I didn't. Like, you have this avalanche of just negativity. The bed making thing is 101 to me because let's say you got your teeth kicked in during the day and you come home and the house is dirty, you got dishes all over the place, the dog shit his pants, and then your bedroom's a mess too, you got laundries everywhere, the like, that feeling sucks, and we've all been there. When you've had a tough day and you come home and you're like, this just reminds you how shitty you feel, how bad your day was, it's just gas in that fire.
Speaker 3:But you can have the worst day ever, and you come home and your place is squared away, it's like, Oh, thank God. Like that little bit of is worth so much. So I started to see that those little bits of like appreciation, of self love, self respect really carried a lot of value for me. Because what I was missing was a sense of wholesomeness, a sense of like just true, Man, I left it out in the field today, had a good day, I didn't have regret or remorse. And like I was using drugs and alcohol to escape and to numb that feeling.
Speaker 3:Because when I got out the Marine Corps, I was lost and I didn't have this sense of mission and purpose anymore of, you know, every day you wake up and you know exactly pretty much what you're doing, where you're going, who you're doing it with, and it's like, oh, just follow the orders for the most part. Good or bad, difficult or easy, but nonetheless, like you're not thinking about so much. And then part of this team and part of this identity and part of this just purpose, I've struggled finding that in life for a long time. And so when I started to do these things, it started to kind of not numb, but like kind of heal some of these wounds that I was trying to medicate with and trying to numb myself with escape through substance and alcohol. That when I started to realize that, man, the more I do with this personal growth development buzzwords just self care and actual self investment and appreciation, there's no need for these other things.
Speaker 3:Like this is true wound healing because it's removing the wounds altogether and making me just feel good inside and out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like you put words to it, but you're really talking about your identity, your relationship with yourself and how that that changes with those like one pound weights. And I'm curious, have you seen it yourself, your identity get to a point where you feel like you don't need to keep doing certain things or like you have such a firm identity at this point where you just have that self respect where it's like, right, I don't to, I don't necessarily need to keep adding. It's more like maintenance mode.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah. I felt like you guys are killing it with the questions. It's good to have people that are listening, you know, people wait to respond, right? Very few people actively listen. You guys are actively listening so I have to think it's challenging but good.
Speaker 3:Fasting is a funny thing because it makes you evaluate a lot of things on the board, your personal board, take a big audit of self and like what you have, material things, possessions, even. When I was there during the retreat, you know, thinking about like the appreciation of minimalism is a big part of it and just in the sense of like, all I need is me. All I need is air in my lungs and like we're we're Gucci, you know? Right after that, I had to spend a week in Barcelona with a client, another client doing like kind of a live in with him, observing, seeing what's going on, helping with some habits, daily structure. He's trying to essentially level himself up just by 1%, but in his world of elite operation, that 1% is worth a lot.
Speaker 3:And it was a huge contrast going from this retreat then going to like, you know, ultra intense like Jake be on coaching, observing, and holding space mode as opposed to like being in an incubator. Now I gotta go totally to the opposite side of like turn it back on and be able to rock and roll. Well, we were there, we were talking and Barcelona is a great pedestrian city similar to that in New York. You can walk everywhere. There's good bikes.
Speaker 3:There's good public transportation. Many people don't have vehicles, him included. It's a guy who could have any car he wanted, could have multiple ones like when he used to live in Manhattan, had $20,000 a month at a beautiful penthouse in Tribeca. Dollars 30 Thousand A Month in cars and parking like the money is not an issue, but he's choosing not to because he appreciates the life he has and what not needing that responsibility affords him. And we were talking about I was like, that's pretty interesting.
Speaker 3:I was like, you know what? Austin is kind of like that to me. I was like, I love my truck. Don't get me wrong. There's a lot of identity with it.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of just personal appreciation for it. I earned it, know, I bought it. But like seeing him and being there and after the fast, was just like, my area of operation in Austin is pretty slim and small. For the most part, I could walk more. I could definitely walk more like the other morning I was telling you guys about I was walking home from the gym.
Speaker 3:Have a bike, I ride it a lot. I could ride it more. The few times that I actually need to drive somewhere of some kind of distance, could rent a vehicle. Other than that, I could ride share for the most part. Austin's very well curated to that lifestyle, especially kind of downtown and in the city parts where I'm I was on the phone with the guys from Ford like last week talking about selling my vehicle.
Speaker 3:And I was like, I'm just totally commit to walking. I'm gonna totally commit to riding my bicycle. I'm gonna totally commit to using public transportation to get around. And like you know, I wasn't thinking about that two months ago. I wasn't thinking about that before the fast.
Speaker 3:I wasn't thinking about that before going with my client, but I'm absolutely that in touch with my emotional intelligence to be open and receptive to the possibility of that. I haven't done it yet, but I'm like, man, just it's just nicking at me because I'm just like, what would that free up? You know, like we were talking about how in New York you never even think about it. And I realized that when I first moved there, when I sold my vehicle and I had another had a black and black murdered out Range Rover Supercharger, Range Rover Sport Supercharged that I loved, and when I sold I was like, identity, gone, you know, the vehicle, love this thing, gone. But what that afforded me in the sense of like capacity and just like ether in my mind was a much more abled sense of understanding and learning the city.
Speaker 3:It's a big place, there's a lot going on. Like if I had to park and drive and deal with stress and all that stuff that comes with owning the vehicle, would I have been able to learn the city as well or appreciate it in the way that I did? I don't know. To me, it's just an added stressor. Now I've got this removed from myself to where I can just really dig and love the environment and be present for it completely.
Speaker 3:Now here, I'm seeing that kind of a similar way like, if I got rid of the vehicle, what would that look like? What would that do to my life? You know? And you asked me a year ago, I'd be like fuck that. Like, no, dude.
Speaker 3:You're not doing that. But I'm like, I could do it. It comes with give and take. It comes with pros and cons. Sure.
Speaker 3:But just to have, like I said, the emotional intelligence to entertain that idea is something that to me is proof of concept. Right? As opposed to like, nah, fuck that. I'm not doing it. To be able to draw the T chart, green versus red.
Speaker 3:What are the pros? What are the cons? Like, you know, if I take my subjectivity out of it and just objectively evaluate this based on green and red, it makes it a weird decision, know, because now I'm talking about my emotional attachments to this thing and the identity that I have with it. Because if I did it on the the t chart, you remove the liability from the balance sheet, every accountant's gonna love that no matter what. You know, no more insurance, not paying for gas, not paying for monthly parking like I do, not risk, not any just the operational liability that's associated with that, let alone the responsibility or even the stress that comes with driving.
Speaker 3:You know, I remember getting home from the fast, walking around the city in Barcelona for a week, I was, you know, twenty, thirty thousand steps a day. I'm just, man, this is a beautiful place. It's great to walk around. Similarly, in in Manhattan, like, were just up there, right, like, walking around. When you're in traffic, when I'm in traffic here, I'm like fuck god damn it like that like I'm just you know I'm cursing and stressing and like fuck you and like this guy cut me off and she's driving terribly, of course it's a me thing, it doesn't have to be that way, But when I'm on foot pounding pavement, it's like man I don't feel like that.
Speaker 3:And so like what's that worth? What's the opportunity cost of that? It's hard to quantify on the balance sheet but that's also an asterisk for me to say like it's pretty nice, it's gonna be afoot and say, what about those rainy days? They're gonna come. But again in New York, I never thought about it, not once.
Speaker 3:In Miami, I got a vehicle for a little bit and I sold it because I went back to walking and riding and ride sharing. So I'm right back at that spot now like, I don't know, maybe I'll do this again. You know, because again it's having that emotional intelligence and just the ability to say like, maybe, what if? But I'm clearly open to that and to me that shows proof of concept of that I'm constantly evolving and changing, adapting, improvising, and just just listening, you know, listening to to the signs that are out there or whatever language is being spoken to me by my environment or or my my sense of being in touch with with reality.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I'm always amazed at how many like small moments and conversations like God uses to kind of teach you about yourself too. Because as you're when you're talking about speaking to the Ford dealership about selling it, I'm imagining myself if I was to sell my car, would I feel? And what I say to people like, you know, I identify as a Christian. And so what I say out loud is like, well, I just care about the opinion of God.
Speaker 1:I don't care about the opinion of man. And I'm my and like, I'm imagining making the T chart and there's so many good reasons in the green around, you know, why you could sell the car, all the money you're gonna save. Also, you really get to like know and feel the heartbeat of a city or where you are by walking and running around that city or biking around that city. But those couple points in red can hold you back so much. And what I'm my immediate red point would be like, oh, well but, like, what are other people gonna think about me that
Speaker 3:I don't have a car?
Speaker 1:Which is so stupid, and that's it just shows that, like, I say one thing, and I do think there's parts of me that that mean that, that I do just care about the opinion of God. But I do think for me, I need to you know, there is still something in there with my ego of caring about the opinion of man. So I don't know. I just wanted to share that point because there's always just there's just so many moments to learn about yourself.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. And I'm right there with you.
Speaker 1:Alright. Where were we? Little technical issues. You were gonna say something about your truck. You're about to drop some heat.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You were asking me about, you know, the opinion of God versus your own opinion. Right? Like, I draw my t chart of pros and cons for selling the truck or not selling the truck. What people think of me, where does that fall?
Speaker 3:Like, does that fall in like a pro or a con? I don't I think it'd be awesome. You know, like if I'm dating or I'm talking to a girl and she's like, you don't have a vehicle? I'd be like, nah. Like I would totally just own that and lean into it.
Speaker 3:Like, who's this fucking guy? He doesn't even have a car. You know? I'm like, nope. That's just me.
Speaker 3:You know? So I wouldn't be afraid of that. I would be totally into it. Yeah, man. Because it's like, if I'm taking this if I'm doing this, like clearly I'm pretty committed to the decision, you know?
Speaker 3:And then like you said, if it doesn't work out, just get another one.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You were talking off camera while we were resetting up. You saw some rock climbing documentary, not free solo, but you were saying that the guy was basically like living in squalor but just breaking all these records. Mhmm. And his wife or his girlfriend was being interviewed, and you could tell how attracted she was to him because like there's just not yet.
Speaker 1:There's just something magnetic about a dude that's just on his mission.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. And he was like Max Power. I can't remember the name of the doc, but it was so cool. And it was it was in like, if you liked free solo, check this out. And it was a guy, I can't remember his name, but I wanna say he ran through Alex's El Cap run and like hit it faster and did it on the first try and like one handed or I don't know a bunch of crazy things.
Speaker 3:Because those climbs are like, you know, ridiculous. Like you cannot make mistakes. People are dying. Yeah, people are dying trying to do them and like they're trying to do it against the clock, right? So you're really it's just amazing.
Speaker 3:But this guy had all these different records on various walls and different things around the world. And the girl that he was dating when she was talking about him was like recounting some of the parts in the relationship. She's like, yeah, at one point we were homeless and we were living under a stairwell and blah blah blah. But like her love for him was so evident and strong. It was I was like, what is it about this guy?
Speaker 3:It was like, the fact that he was just so passionate about life and what he loved in life. And that was climbing and her. And that was it. Nothing else really mattered. So where they lived and what they had quote was all kind of irrelevant because he poured his entire heart and soul into his loves and nothing else really mattered.
Speaker 3:And it was just so cool to see that. The guy eventually gets taken by his passion. But just to see that sense of attraction from a person to a mate and a counterpart is like, dude, when you're truly purpose driven and passionate and just unapologetically honest and authentic, it's very attractive and desirable quality. I think in anyone, you know, in anyone. Like we're all, like you said, magnetic to that feeling of like, man, this dude is just like, I fucking love this guy.
Speaker 3:He's raw, he's real, he's unapologetic, authentic, you know. Her, same thing, like, we're attracted to that inimobility of someone where it's like it's not being foed, it's not something that's replicated. It's just something that's like really, really genuine. I
Speaker 2:feel like a lot of guys need to hear that message, especially like right now, like modern masculinity, there's kind of like two sides of the coin. One is like basically guys being able to put up every single facade there is in the book in order to attract people into their sphere. And then there's people who are just real and authentic. And I don't know, we're talking about a guy who's climbing mountains and pursuing his purpose, but doesn't have anything else. And it's like, there's nothing really more authentic than that.
Speaker 2:And yeah, I just, I feel like guys need to hear that message of just like raw, like high character, you know, people who are actually just stepping into their God given gifts and maybe like not investing too much time in the material things to kind of project value. I think there's something that guys need to hear about that.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, because that definitely won't make you feel whole. You know, you won't feel complete because you have the stuff. It'll give you some temporary relief, but it's just another outlet. It's just another means of escape. It's just another drug.
Speaker 3:It's just another pharmacy, you know, that's clouded and shadowed in a different shroud. Because I've sat with people that have quote nothing but, you know, they live life and act like they have everything. What's the difference there? Someone that has everything but is complaining about what they don't have. You know, like that's a total sense of perspective.
Speaker 3:You can choose to look at it that way or you can choose to look at it the way it is. And I think a lot of people struggle with that. Know, and thinking that these other things, superficiality and bits of exterior materialism are gonna help define you or make you feel better and they can and they will, you know temporarily but if you're at the root and the core or something's wrong you're not addressing what that really is it's no amount of $500 sunglasses and hundred thousand dollar vehicles and all that other shit's gonna matter if you're not really happy and being honest about who you are with not just to the world but to yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's you know Khalil from Sun Life? He had a really one of my favorite
Speaker 3:Congrats on the Soho Thanks brother.
Speaker 1:Next time you're in town get that holy cow,
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure. Keep you loaded up a couple scoops a day. That's awesome. That's always the go to whenever I'm here. Whenever I take people that are visiting in town too, I'm like I want to see that freaking coconut cream whipped around in the milkshake.
Speaker 1:Imagine a holy cow post eight day dry fast.
Speaker 2:You would just melt I mean,
Speaker 3:can line it up. I just gotta, you know.
Speaker 2:Oh, so the there was
Speaker 1:a clip where he was talking about, you know, because he's he was a shoot to die heroin addict at one point. And, you know, he'll say, if I, you know, take some kratom and I wanna take more than the recommended dose or I wanna drink two cups of coffee versus one or he he was basically just saying whenever I wanna do more than what I should be doing, his immediately his immediate response is like, what am I missing internally?
Speaker 3:And
Speaker 1:I don't know what you were saying is just kinda remind me of that. And I've I've definitely had those moments over the years too where it's like you're gravitating towards some type of advice. And typically for me, it's like, feel like I've I'm almost like demagnetized towards my mission. That's the worst feeling, and so I try and find in other things that are very temporary and very fleeting versus, like, when you really feel that that calling towards the thing you're supposed to be doing, nothing bothers you. You don't care if you have a car.
Speaker 1:You don't have a car. You don't care about finances. You don't like the the mundanities of life that bother so many people. Nothing. If you have that thing, you just feel so whole.
Speaker 3:It's true, man. And, yeah, I've met Khalil once, but certainly know the backstory and his mission. You guys met him off. Sun Life's really cool stuff. I love what he's doing.
Speaker 3:I'm reading it's funny you talk about heroin I'm reading Scott Whelan from Stone Temple Pilots, his wife's autobiography, kind of recounting her journey with him and their relationship and the advent of her drug use and whatnot. It's a lot of a lot about heroin. That's funny that you said that. Because I was I just cracked
Speaker 1:it You just cracked it
Speaker 3:last but that sense of like being incomplete or like filling voids with those things and like what he's talking about, what Khalil's talking about, you know, take more as opposed to the prescribed dose of
Speaker 1:the Yeah.
Speaker 3:I definitely know that feeling. Yeah. Like what am I trying to satisfy? What am I trying to cover? What am I trying to mask?
Speaker 3:What am I trying to feed? What need is feeling, you know, inadequate? What is feeling unfulfilled? Because man, that stuff does that, you know, like as much as drugs give you these physical changes and these, you know, biochemical and neurological changes, it's the escape. It's always about the escape.
Speaker 3:And that's what all of us are after. That's the common denominator with all these things. So like, we've got a Venn diagram or concentric circles with things like, okay, heroin or MDMA, cocaine, whatever, it's over here. And let's say maybe cold plunge is over here. Alright?
Speaker 3:Well, there's some some parallel with what takes place as far as in those concentric circles, as far as in physiological responses. You know, whether it's through the dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine, oxytocin oxytocin. There's some similarities of what physiological responses take place. So there is some parallel and Passover between those two things. Obviously, they're different.
Speaker 3:But you take something else that is also giving to us or that it's helping per se, it's still escape. Know, we're running, we're drinking water, we're riding, whatever. These things are like every outlet, any outlet, no matter what type of benefit it gives to us, it still gives us a form of escape. So escape is always the common denominator with things. It's just that how much of an escape something is to us is what differentiates it, I think.
Speaker 2:Escaping from what? Our presence.
Speaker 3:Like anything to take us out of right now. I think that's what everything in life is currently geared towards. That's why being a human in the modern world, I think is so difficult. Everything is about not being here. You know, like even learning, I just bought a new guitar yesterday, and I haven't played guitar in twenty five years.
Speaker 3:I the last time I put a guitar yeah. Twenty five. Fuck. I put the last time I put my guitar down was I was 16 years old. My brother's an amazing musician.
Speaker 3:He still is. But the last time I was home last month, we were playing a little bit. I said we were playing. I was trying to play again. But, like, my fingers still remembered some things, you know, my mind and the connection was still there a little bit and we were laughing and I was like, dude, haven't touched a guitar in twenty years, twenty five years.
Speaker 3:And he's like, well, dude, let's go get one. Like, just get back into it. And I was like, okay, You know? And he's like, it's it's great, man. It's it's one of those things that's absolutely about presence.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Right? Like, and I remember watching him for years growing up, he was just he would for hours, just all day play guitar. All day, dude. Go surf, play guitar when we were living in Southern California.
Speaker 3:He would just go surf and play guitar, and just, like, loved it. And each of those things was just all about presence. Yes, there is escape, but, like, there's such a presence that's required with that escape. It's more about presence than it is about escape. Drugs, recreational drugs for abuse is a % about escape.
Speaker 3:It's not about presence. There is presence that is part of it, but your motive, your desire and drive are built around escape, not presence. Guitar, surfing, reading, writing, meditating, true self reflection, introspection that is dominant on the presence foot, not on the escape foot. As much as you might think you're escaping to go meditate, you're using presence to get to that escape. It's not the other way around for the other things.
Speaker 3:Even with like activities, exercise. Absolutely it's about presence, but now the seesaw or the balance of escape versus presence like it can get close because you're definitely using exercise as escape. But at the same time, it's pretty present based. Difference between a few. Swimming, it's gonna be much more about presence than it is escape.
Speaker 3:Though you are escaping in the water, you take your mind out of that, it's gonna get hairy real fast. Right? If you're in a strength based workout with friends and your time between sets is longer, your time on the bench is only a little bit here and there, you can punch out pretty well and escape. It's not nearly as much presence there. If it's something like high intensity interval base or like a a CrossFit WOD that's gonna be like serious on the clock, like you better be present for that.
Speaker 3:So knowing and understanding this balance between presence and escape, I think is like a huge void in the modern world. Because we're so dominant on the escape side. You know, food, like talking about the outlets and like the things that set us off of our purpose and mission, like binge eating, you know, snacking, chewing, cheating, whatever you want to call it, like using foods to cope, using foods to cope with, you know, emotional eating, eating because we're bored, like it's all about escape. Why are you bored? What are you bored from?
Speaker 3:Because you're not being entertained? Escape. Because you don't you're not being entertained? You don't like the present? You need to be entertained constantly?
Speaker 3:Escape. So, you know, if we're going to travel right now, like, alright guys, let's head to the airport. Maybe we stop for food on the way to the airport. Why? Because we're bored?
Speaker 3:Yeah. We get to the airport. Alright, let's get some food. Why? Because we're bored?
Speaker 3:Because we're killing time? Can we just sit there and like have a conversation as friends? Or maybe not even talk? Just sit there and each each of us is observing, you know the airport or doing our own thing like maybe you're reading a book and like damn I'd love to talk to Brett but he's reading a book shit. It's like that is weird.
Speaker 3:It's weird to just be like to embody the being part of human being is weird. You will
Speaker 2:freak basically every single person out if you're
Speaker 3:just Chinatown. Chinatown. What do call this? Yeah. Chinatown.
Speaker 3:Essex and Chatham. Yeah. Somewhere around there. Bottom Southeast Corner of Chinatown. It's like six years ago.
Speaker 3:I was sitting at a coffee shop. I was, about to get tattooed, and I went into the coffee shop just for just to hang out. Didn't buy anything. Was just kind of sitting around and I got a water. And I remember looking at the around, everybody in there had at least one if not two if not three devices on their tables, right?
Speaker 3:A phone, a tablet and a laptop. One, two, if not three. And they were all engaged with their devices even if they were sitting with people, they were engaged with their devices. I didn't have my phone out. I had it on me but I didn't have it out.
Speaker 3:I've kind of had this rule for I don't do it all the time, but it's fun to do. If I'm ever somewhere and I'm around people, I won't have my phone out and visible. If I see another phone that is, I'll keep mine hidden. Obviously I probably have a phone on me and they can figure that out. But it's just like this little game that I play, and I won't have my phone be visible.
Speaker 3:So I didn't have my phone visible, did not have my phone visible. I'm standing at the bar standing, now also a weird thing to do instead of sitting. I'm standing, not sitting, and the barista comes up to me and she's like, Can I help you with something? And I'm just like standing looking at the trees. It was a beautiful day in the spring.
Speaker 3:And I'm like, No, I'm good. I got my water. And she's like, Okay. And like kind of eye rolled and like walked away. She's like, weirdo.
Speaker 1:Know? I'm thinking on mushrooms or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I like, no, I'm just, you know, looking at the clouds. And she's like, okay, psycho. Psycho. I was like, why?
Speaker 3:Because I'm not neck broken and fucking Oh, dude. Falling in line like everybody else.
Speaker 1:I felt this the other day. I've told a story a couple times where I was at Perry's getting a great steak with one of my buddies, was busy with work, and I'm noticing I'm, like, plugged into my phone, have 1% battery, phone dies. Fuck it. He goes to the bathroom. So I put my phone in my pocket, and I literally just did a full panorama around the whole restaurant and just took the restaurant in and, like, the energy and people and the conversation.
Speaker 1:And I I was just I made me compound around my whole life, and I'm like, how many dinners, experiences, whatever am I missing out? Like, I didn't even take in the landscape of where we were just by having my phone on. And so what I've been starting to do now is if, say, I'm going to dinner with Dana, I'll just put my phone in the console of the car. Like, just not, like, not even having it in my pocket, but just off my person. Because I still feel the energy when it's in my pocket.
Speaker 1:It's the most it's so basic, but it just feels incredible. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's one of my favorite things about traveling because you kind of don't feel like you're supposed to necessarily be in like, if you go to some, like I lived in Amsterdam for a bit and I would, I was there and like, there's other tourists there, but then there's just people who are like living their lives. So you're kind of just like, all right, what's it like in Amsterdam? Let me go figure this out. And you're just like observing life there. And I feel like it taught me how to like, just kind of like, look around and be more observant about like what people are doing.
Speaker 2:And there's something powerful in that just like taking it in. Yeah. I don't know. We don't do that in our own day to day. Like I don't take it in Austin nearly as much as I should.
Speaker 2:I have a totally different approach when I'm traveling to a new city as opposed to the city that I live in. Yeah. And it's honestly, it's kind of a shame because I do feel like when you're in a new place, like, you just have a totally different exploratory, more observant mind.
Speaker 3:Totally. And like, even like what you're talking about with the phone dying. I had a client a couple years ago talking about like having difficulties with bringing home work at home, bringing home work and his relationship with his kids was suffering from and he's like, man, like I feel disconnected out of touch like you know, blah blah blah blah. I was like, well, much work are you doing in front of them? Or like, what kind of work?
Speaker 3:Know? He's like, it's a lot of phone stuff, know, blah blah blah blah. I'm like, alright. This might be very difficult to do and it's gonna be a challenge, but like, what would it look like if you never had your phone out in front of your kids? Just question.
Speaker 3:And he's like, I mean, I guess I could do it. I was like, well, talk me through it. What would that look like? Well, like if they're in the room, I wouldn't have it out. But if soon as they left, I guess I could text and send emails and stuff like that just as long as they're not around.
Speaker 3:But like, you know, like he I'm like wanting him to iterate what this would look like, sound like, and what this feasibility is like. Eventually he's like, Okay, I'll bite. I'll try it. And he did this for a week. Comes back from a beach trip, and he's like, Dude, we had such a great time at the beach, blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3:I was like, Well, how was he? He's like, It was amazing. And I was like, Well, how was the whole phone thing? He's like, Dude, we had such a good time. I didn't even take pictures on my phone because I was just with them.
Speaker 3:My phone didn't even come down to the beach or it stayed in the bag. He's like, I was so into it. I forgot to take photos. He's like, luckily my wife snapped a few, but he's like, I have no photos from the trip. Zero.
Speaker 3:Because I just, I was there with them. And I was like, Nice. Like, cool. And I was like, What'd they think? He's like, Dude, they were like magnets to it.
Speaker 3:I was like, Yeah. Because every other parent doesn't do that. Every other person or grown up adult that they're around doesn't do that. So daddy is already unique to them, but now daddy is super unique to them. Daddy doesn't ever have a phone around.
Speaker 3:They're not saying that, but they subconsciously are aware of it, maybe even consciously aware of it, that daddy is different and something about him that we can't totally tell or say makes him different and makes him more aware and engaged with us. And it totally changed his world, man. Totally changed his relationship with his kids. And he'd use that in a sense of like, okay, the boys are around, like, the phone is not visible. When they're not, like, I'm like, I'll do my stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah. But it's like, yeah, dude. We're it's hard to be a modern or human in the modern world, but those little things like that, which I talked about going to Lincoln Park concert this last weekend. My friend didn't have pockets on what she was wearing and she was like, Can you hold my phone? I was like, Sure.
Speaker 3:I had like good compression stuff from like to be able to hold the phone. So I had like phones in both pockets, I had all kind of other shit on me. And I was like, I was like, yeah, I'm holstered up. We're good. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And after the show, was like, you want your phone back? She's like, you can keep it for the night. Know, just hold on to Hold on to it. She's like, it's awesome. I was like, yeah, like we never think about that, but it's like, dude, it just puts you there.
Speaker 3:It puts you so much more there. So like, again, back to that balance of like escape versus presence, like, just evaluate things on that, You know, like, is this about escape to me or is this about presence? You know? Like, and even good things. And that's what fasting really shows me is that, am I going to the sauna?
Speaker 3:Am I doing all this cool biohacking shit because it's about presence and self benefit and health or am I escaping? There's gonna be crossover sometimes. There's gonna be a little bit of both. There's gonna be a lot of both. It's not always about necessarily it being good or bad either.
Speaker 3:Sometimes I need the escape. Sure, good. But knowing the difference, the awareness is what I think is the key here. Similarly to eating. Eat things that make you happy, do what makes you happy in life, like period.
Speaker 3:But just have the awareness to understand the difference between mindful and mindless. Mindless consumption, we don't wanna do that. Like, we don't want you don't you don't wanna do that. You're gonna regret it. You're gonna be upset about it.
Speaker 3:Mindful because you're home with your six year old niece and she says, uncle Jake, can we get some ice cream? And I'm like, yeah, I'm on a diet. Fuck. Like, oh, it's not my macro. Fuck.
Speaker 3:I said I was fasting today. Fuck. I'm only eating carnivore. Fuck. But my six year old beautiful little baby Yeah.
Speaker 3:Is looking at me with her, you know, big brown eyes, and I'm just like, Fucking A right, we're gonna get ice cream. Yes, darling, we're gonna go get ice cream. You know, don't wanna say fuck. But, yeah, baby, of course we're gonna go get ice cream, you know? And it's like, that's gonna mean everything to me with no regret, no remorse, and not escape.
Speaker 3:A % presence. Because I'm not trying to harm, heal, or mask some void. It's like, man, this is about massive investment and So knowing that difference, I think, is a big challenge, like you said, to men and our identities of what are we trying to do, what's the bravado, do we need this machismo or chauvinism or toxic, often mislabeled toxic masculinity? Like, yeah man, you need, I think we need to be more aware about what we use in the form of presence compared to escape.
Speaker 2:Man, you just nailed it. I feel like that was like so perfectly put and it kind of like, for me, what you just said, it's like putting the keys in the lock of like handcuffs for a lot of people who their diet becomes the handcuffs after being overweight was the handcuffs. It's like, you're still imprisoned by this feeling of trying to escape from the things that you're not truly coming to terms with.
Speaker 3:Oh, have like, let's say you've taken a lot of prescription meds and you're weaning your way off of those, but then you've just turned into this hoarder of snacks and bullshit food. It's like you just traded one pharmacy for another. Yes. Like, this is an identity and it's an escape. It has a purpose and utility, but you literally just traded one for the other.
Speaker 3:Now, that's still progress because this is better than that, but don't mistake the fact that you've just swapped identities or you've just traded again one pharmacy for the other. I say that for like talking about heroin or drugs. Great. Like, we put the bag down, we put the needle down, and now we're ice cream fiends. Good.
Speaker 3:Like, let's applaud that. That's okay. It's better to be a fucking ice cream junkie than shooting dope. It's better to be an ice cream junkie than a cokehead. Like, good.
Speaker 3:This is a step. Now, we don't want to stay here forever because eventually this is probably not going to be good for us and we become diabetics possibly, like that's not what we want to do. But at least we've moved up the mountain and we're not banging whores every night and shooting a bunch of heroin. Like, that's a good progress. Now we're dealing with ice cream.
Speaker 3:Okay, good. Let's go to that step, and now how do we work on this? And before we know it, we're at the a further place of ascent, and we're thinking about like, I'm trying to eat this way, and I said I wasn't gonna eat any more nightshades, so, I don't know if I should have this tomato. Amazing. Now we're there.
Speaker 3:Right? As opposed to down there slumming it, you know, slump busting, like, where we don't wanna be and waking up in places that we don't belong. Now we're talking about like, oh my god, should I eat those onions? Ugh. Just keep moving up the mountain.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. What's the best way for people to connect with you?
Speaker 3:LifeLikeJake. Life Like Jake for everything. LifeLikeJake.com. Life Like Jake on all the social channels. And then if you want any of this cool merch
Speaker 1:Let's go.
Speaker 3:Because I like to be loud And pump that. You know, aggressive with my thoughts, you can find us at the lifelikeus.com. So I'm not one for picketing and like holding signs, but I'd rather like Totally. Wear it and say what I And it's always funny when people see me wearing any of these shirts. They're like, so does that mean blah blah blah?
Speaker 3:I'm like I'm like, I'm pretty sure the questions are answered like in the words themselves. Yeah. Lab grown. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, just take it right there.
Speaker 1:Like Yeah. That's it. You know? That's awesome, man. Well, wanna give you a little
Speaker 3:bag of Noble. Oh, cool, man.
Speaker 1:We wanna get better at giving our
Speaker 3:guests gifts for coming on the That's amazing. A little vanilla for you. I love this stuff. Load it up. Easy, easy endorsement for you guys because it's true.
Speaker 3:My mother and you guys know this, my mother also takes and loves her Noble. But I mean, like to have this really good grass fed protein with the organ supplements or not organ supplements, but the organ blending complex that's in there, a big differentiator for me. That's why it's the only one that I use to this day, so thank y'all. It was really great meeting you guys last year, I guess kind of fateful under the that we met. Yeah,
Speaker 1:you know So cool to have your mom taking the product.
Speaker 3:I know. She's for over a year now, Over a year.
Speaker 1:She did a Murph, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Last year last year for Memorial Day. Jeez. Yes. 72 years old.
Speaker 3:She wore her I think she wore 20 pound vest or 10 at least. I forget. But, yeah, it's her first her first one. You
Speaker 2:know You think she would do it again? Because we're hosting a Murph event here at Squatch on Memorial Day if
Speaker 3:I'll ask.
Speaker 2:She wants in.
Speaker 3:She's definitely in shape for it.
Speaker 2:That's so cool, man.
Speaker 3:She's definitely in shape. Linda Hamilton from Terminator two is, like, her inspiration. Really? I can
Speaker 2:see that.
Speaker 3:Alright. So that's, like, where we're going.
Speaker 1:It's good inspiration right
Speaker 3:now. Yeah. Exactly. She's crushing it. I'm sure you're
Speaker 1:super proud of her.
Speaker 3:She's very real. Very. Yeah. She just had a birthday, so she's feeling good.
Speaker 2:At least.
Speaker 1:Brother, appreciate you so much.
Speaker 3:Thanks for doing this, man. Seriously. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you.
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